For those of you who were unable to attend CatalystCon last weekend, the panel I was on, âWill Write for Dildos: How and Why Companies and Reviewers Should Work Together,â is available in both audio and written form right here!
This is crazy long and we know that. If youâre the type of person who listens to things, download the audio file and listen to it while you poo, during your commute to work, or whenever else it is that people listen to stuff. If youâre like me and audio is mostly useless, the full transcript follows, with handy links and funny (I think) images. Because accessibility is kinda my thing.
We learned that Jenna keeps a secret spy file about all of us, revealed why bloggers sometimes seem unnecessarily bitter in reviews, and that I use some strange analogies when talking about writing vitriolic negative reviews. Oh, and Jenna brought out the proverbial mic-drop at one point, which left us all slack-jawed for a moment. That happened.
Also check out Epiphoraâs resource page for the panel, which includes links to good reviews, affiliate programs, companies who know how to use Twitter, and more.
(Thank you FOREVER to Aerie, Girly Juice, Scarlett Seraph, Krista, and Sexational for doing much of the transcription, and to Epiphora for posting this behemoth to her blog first thus saving me the trouble of creating a lot of the source-code. Go give them virtual drinks and hugs, or buy things through their affiliate links and help them pay rent and buy cat food!)
- What do you look for in a company/reviewer partnership?
- How do you break the ice when youâre starting a reviewing partnership?
- What makes a good review, and should negative reviews be subject to pre-screening?
- What if youâre going to hate a product and you know ahead of time? Do you still review it?
- Can you make money doing this? Are affiliate programs a necessary part of the equation?
- But what do the companies get? Why should companies even bother sending stuff to us?
- Audience Q: Suggestions on starting a sponsorship relationship?
- Audience Q: Thoughts on affiliate link loyalty?
- Audience Q: Advertisers as an alternative to affiliates?
- Audience Q: How long did you review toys that you already owned before you started using it more as a business?
- Audience Q: What all do companies take into consideration when looking at potential reviewers?
Lorax: And this is Will Write for Dildos, so⊠welcome everybody. Our hashtag is #cconreview. Please Twitter often, Twitter early⊠we usually Twitter a lot, weâre up here so we canât, and it makes us sad. So, welcome everybody, hi!
Iâd like to quickly introduce everybody who is up here on our panel today. I am Lorax of LoraxOfSex.com. I am a blogger, reviewer, educator, I also work in a store; I sell dildos and make rope for a living, itâs great fun. Next to me, we have Epiphora of HeyEpiphora.com, blogger reviewer extraordinaire. Next to her we have Krista, social media, PR, and affiliate executive for Lovehoney, and last but very much not least, we have Jenna of Tantus. And if yaâll donât know who Tantus is â after the panel, down a couple doors, the vendor room, check it out, learn some shit, theyâre awesome.
So, weâre just going to sort of dive right into this talking about the relationship between bloggers, reviewers, and companies and manufacturers, and the importance of that relationship. So, I think weâll start at the end of the table with JennaâŠ
What do you look for in a company/reviewer partnership?
Jenna: Basically when I start looking for reviewers and scouting and reading blogs, my first focus is to try and get as diverse a group of bloggers and reviewers as possible. Tantus is one of the few manufacturers that has a prototype testing function. When we bring out a new toy, part of my job is to send it to people and have them test it. And I look for people of different heights, and different sizes, and different body types â so that we can make sure that our toys are fitting as broad a spectrum of people as possible.
I kind of do the same thing with the affiliates and reviewers. I want to look for⊠if I come away with all female reviewers, or all reviewers that are over the age of 30, that doesnât really do me any good. I want a big group, so that thereâs something for everyone out there. I also look for people who are a good values fit with what we represent: a commitment to sexual health, quality, integrity, truth in product package labeling. Thatâs a little difficult sometimes because, again, a lot folks donât know sort of the lay of the land when it comes to sex toy manufacturing.
And weâre also chronically busy, often understaffed, and weâve had to grow the affiliate program more slowly I think than we would be able to do if we had a lot more folks on board. So I, on a personal level, I like folks who are nice to me when they are faced with my problems about time, and not having enough of it.
Epiphora: Nice people. Yeah, I mean, I think that the âvalues fitâ thing is interesting because for me, when Iâm looking for companies to review for, one thing that I do is I go to their dildos or butt plugs section⊠and if Iâm just accosted by jelly atrocities, like, yeeeah, no. That solved it. If thatâs all you have, and you donât know that there are silicone butt plugs and dildos⊠thatâs a problem. But thatâs like the baseline. Youâd have to be way better than that still, but⊠[laughs]
And then of course obviously I look for people who will send me whatever I want⊠isnât that what weâŠ? [laughs]
No, I really donât, but I do like people who trust me. Thatâs a big thing. Trust that I will finish my review. Iâve been doing this for awhile, and I donât really like being prodded. I know sometimes people do it out of the goodness of their hearts; they really just want to know, âwhenâs the review gonna be done?â But I am so slow, and if you wanted it done sooner, you should have told me in advance because I canât, I just, Iâm terribly slow.
Also the people who always email me feverishly asking when somethingâs going to be done are always the people who sent me the shitty shit that I donât actually love at all. And Iâm like, âyou really donât want to know when that reviewâs gonna be done, because you donât want to read it ever. Youâd probably rather me not publish it.â So I just reply and Iâm like, âitâll be done; Iâll email you.â
And then availability⊠just kind of, respond to my emails? If I have a question about your product, answer it for me. And do nice things like create coupon codes and banners, tell me about your sales in advance⊠and help me spread the word about my review when it goes up! What is that? This happens all the time. Youâre like âhereâs my review, itâs wonderful!â and you never get a reply, and they never talk about it on social media, like it never happened.
Lorax: Krista?
Krista: So what do I look for with reviewers? Definitely like what Jenna said, I really look for a diverse group. Thereâs a lot of women out there who are reviewers, and itâs kind of a very similar demographic youâre working with. And so we do like to go out and find people who have different topics, whether theyâre male reviewers reviewing male toys, or they have a BDSM focus.
But definitely itâs a professional situation. If someone comes just kind of comes at it flippantly, or theyâre just like, âsend me some toys, Iâll review them for you,â but then you receive this email and it has no information about the person, you know. And I have to write back to them saying, âwell, whatâs your URL? Why do you want to review toys?â And if I have to pull that information out, thatâs making more work for me.
So you want to approach it in a professional way. Youâre looking for people who take it seriously, and arenât just, âoh, I bet I could get a free dildo out of this if I reach out to this company.â Or someone who looks like theyâre reaching out to every company.
Epiphora: You can smell those people, Iâm sure. They smell like jelly toys.
Krista: This is true.
Lorax: Iâm right there with Epiphora on this one, as a fellow reviewer and a fellow blogger. Iâm looking for folk who understand that I work two âreal-worldâ jobs; I work seven days a week. So I donât just sit at home stuffing toys into myself all day. I mean, that would be great, I would love that. If I could do that and still pay my rent and feed the cat, that would be great. But Iâm human, and I get sick. Things take time, and also research. I do so much research.
Iâm looking for more than just a toy to review. Iâm looking for the design of it, is it safe, the materials, all of these things. And so I do a lot of research and that just takes time. We all went through school, hopefully, I think. Weâve all done research papers. Youâve got to go study some stuff, youâve got to Google, youâve gotta go to the library still sometimes â not everythingâs on the internet. So thereâs that.
And I also, I need some sort of mutual support going on, like you said. Iâve published reviews, and Iâve emailed the company, and Iâve tweeted it, and Iâve put it on Tumblr and Iâve put it on Facebook⊠and thereâs nothing. Thereâs no retweets, thereâs no reblogs, thereâs no emailâŠ
Epiphora: Retweet. Thatâs like the easiest thing in the world. One fucking button.
Lorax: One click, retweet, done. Easy. Thereâs no, âhey, thanks!â Thereâs no, âoh, we didnât think of that!â Thereâs nothing. So that sort of mutual support, and that back and forth open communication is really really important to me.
So off of that, and Krista sorta started on this, is breaking the ice. Weâre all accustomed with first dates, and first encounters with people. Theyâre really awkward, and youâre like âhi⊠Iâm Lorax⊠how are youâŠ?â And you come off as a really weird, like, mouth-breather.
Epiphora: I feel like a good example is meeting a celebrity, too. Youâre all nervous, and youâre just likeâŠ
Lorax: âHi, youâre really cool, I love your work!â
So how do you break the ice when youâre starting a reviewing partnership, or when youâre being contacted for a review product, or when youâre contacting?
Krista: Working with Lovehoney, you know, Iâve done a lot of outreach to a bunch of bloggers that I know and work with. But Iâm also always on the lookout for new people to work with the company. So when I see a site that Iâm like, âthese guys are a good fit, they probably would enjoy talking about our toys,â Iâll find their contact information, find the contact form. I think thereâs someone in the room who I reached out through their website this way. Give them the information they need.
And it goes both ways. So if Iâm reaching out to someone, I want them to have the links that they need to find out what the terms are of becoming an affiliate, I want them to have a little bit of an idea. But also I donât want to send them a laundry list of everything you need to know, because maybe they donât want all that information. So itâs kind of going with the appropriate information that they need at the time, to get them interested, get them to respond to me.
I also do review toys, and I had the scenario where someone from Tantus actually found my website and reached out to me. Oh, now I get this experience of being the reviewer, and being kind of coveted in that situation. But again, itâs a business communication, that you want to give the person all the information that they need.
Epiphora: But not more than they need. Never more⊠people donât have time. People are much lazier than you realize.
Krista: Yeah, you want to make it simple. Let them know how you want them to respond, you know. If youâre interested, get back to me, and let me know your web URLâŠ
Epiphora: Thatâs a good point.
Krista: Or send me an example of a review youâve written in the past, so I can just get started on what I need to do, and we donât have to keep going back and forth.
Jenna: For me, Iâm definitely more interested in a reviewerâs blog than the initial contact email. I want to see what youâre putting out in the universe, into cyberspace. Show me what youâre passionate about and what youâre really interested in. Again, a thoughtful review is great, but for me, the messaging around quality products and safe materials kind of has to be in your blog for me to really take notice. Because again, thatâs what weâre about at Tantus.
At the very least, though, Iâm hopeful for somebody who isnât trying to undo all the hard work in educating. Metis, our founder, has been educating people since â97 on safe toys, and itâs hard for me to see people who come in and are like, âwell Iâve never had a reaction to a jelly toy, so I donât understand why people are saying theyâre not safe.â Again, if you can give me an honest review and maybe not sort of try to take back some of the work, that would be great.
Most of the people I come across are from social media interactions. People who are interested in Tantus and who follow the Tantus Twitter, and who are participating in those conversations weâre having. And thatâs great, because I can get kind of an idea of where theyâre at before I even start that interaction.
If I had any advice to give new reviewers, it would be to really kind of feel out a companyâs social media presence. You can tell the difference when a company isnât very genuine, or if itâs a bunch of canned marketing stuff. The companies I personally love are the ones who take the time to interact with people, answer questions, are timely in their communication. And granted, itâs not lightning-fast all the time, but certainly they should be open to what youâre saying as well.
Epiphora: I think the kinds of accounts youâre talking about are the ones that are like, âhereâs a sex fact! Sex fact of the day!â And youâre like, âreally didnât need a sex fact every day.â You look at their whole feed, and itâs just sex facts. âDid you know this, about sex?â And theyâre probably not even true.
[audience laughs]Those, I donât know why companies think that thatâs how do you a Twitter account. Like, where did they get this idea? I think itâs such an amateur mistake to do that, as a company.
But I think itâs interesting that you mentioned you kind of like being approached on social media, because I usually tell bloggers not to do that. I think itâs somewhat informal and a little, like, slightly lazy⊠just, you couldnât even look at the website to find the email address to email them? And also, social media limits your⊠you know, Twitter, you canât write a lot.
So I usually say, send an email â but again, also, keep it short, keep it to the point. Have some sort of direction. Tell them who you are. Tell them, maybe, if youâre interested in a particular toy.
Oh, the main thing: tell them why you like them as a company. Because you need to offer yourself, like, how do these two things go together other than âI like sex toys, really like sex toys.â Itâs not quite enough. If you want a certain toy, they might be into you saying that, but not, like, a $300 njoy Eleven. And you canât be pushy and long-winded, yeah.
Oh, and make sure your blog has content! Make sure thereâs shit there, and thatâŠ
Krista: And that it wasnât stolen from her siteâŠ
Epiphora: And that it was not stolen from me!
Krista: âCause Iâll know if you took it from her site.
Epiphora: Yeah, and sheâll tell me. And Iâll be like, âooh, fuck you guys.â
So yeah, and if you donât get a response in a couple weeks, you can send a follow-up, itâs probably good to do that. But if you donât a response to that, itâs over, just let it go. They donât want you, maybe they donât accept reviewers, maybe theyâre too busy.
Lorax: Please, please, please, for the love of tap-dancing dildo gods, to coin a term from a friend of mine â pay attention to the name and the gender of the person that you are contacting.
Epiphora: Look at that signature.
Lorax: Look at the signature, look at the name that theyâre blogging under. Donât sit there and like, Porn Wikileaks the person youâre contacting and be like, âhey, real-legal-name, I found your blog and would love to work with you!â That sort of sets a weird creeper vibe. And if we consistently sign our emails Lorax, or Epiphora, address us as such â even if you know our legal, driverâs license names.
I contact people both as my store, and as a blogger; so I have two names, and I keep them separate for that reason. So if youâre getting an email from my work account, and itâs signed Lily [redacted], then thatâs me as a store and doing my store thing. If itâs signed Lorax of Sex, loraxofsex.com, thatâs me as a blogger. Theyâre separate entities. Itâs one of those things, I mean, itâs a small detail, but some people donât use their legal names out there, so respect that.
And gender is a thing, itâs an important thing. Not everybody is the gender that you might assume they are based on looking at what theyâre wearing todayâŠ
Epiphora: Or what dildo theyâre reviewingâŠ
Lorax: Or what toy theyâre reviewing. Some men have vaginas, some women have penises, these things happen. So respect that, and letâs respect peopleâs gender identities. Look on their blog, they probably talk about it.
Epiphora: Yeah, look on their âaboutâ page, itâll sometimes say âpronouns preferred,â or, if itâs written, you know, in the third person, thatâs obvious.
Lorax: Or if your web address is âMr. So-and-So,â and youâre calling them âsheââŠ
Epiphora: That might be a problem.
Lorax: It might be a hint. And like Epiphora said, also, going back to the Twitter vs. email thing â donât pester me on Twitter every time you email me.
Epiphora: Oh my god.
Lorax: Donât. If youâve emailed me, and itâs been, like, a month, and you havenât heard back from me, you can be like, âhey, I sent you an email a while back, did you get that?â Thatâs cool. But every time you send me an email, I donât need the âhey, I emailed you, check your inbox, I havenât heard back from you.â Just donât, please. Thatâs what direct messages are for, thatâs what follow-up emails are for⊠social media is not a place for private business.
Epiphora: Right, âcause everyone can see that.
Lorax: So, onto the meat of this goodness⊠reviews. Itâs what weâre talking about.
What makes a good review, and more to recent events, should negative reviews (because they happen, we donât like everything) be subject to pre-screening by the companies?
Piph, you wanna take this?
Epiphora: Pretty sure I have some opinions about this.
Lorax: I donât know, do you?
Epiphora: So, Iâm really difficult to impress when it comes to reviews, Iâll be the first to admit that. I actually put together a resource page on my blog about this panel, and it has links to what I consider good reviews. Because, I can tell you what I want, but when you read it, youâll really understand.
I think that a good review is entertaining, itâs well-written, itâs informative, but itâs not jam-packed with stuffy information. So, the further you can get from a canned, manufacturer description, the better, in my opinion. âCause itâs a review, itâs about you, how you experienced the toy, not what the manufacturer has to say, thatâs itâs seven inches long, it has settings. And of course, itâs always good to be funny if you can, which can be difficult, but it does make the reviews memorable.
Oh, and honesty. Thatâs the big one. You would think it would be obvious, but itâs not. People are really too easily swayed by free sex toys, itâs kind of creepy. You have to care more about the reader than paying back a perceived debt to the company that sent you the toy. Thatâs just not how it works. You need to be honest. And readers can tell when you are sugar coating; itâs so easy to spot. And once youâve lost their trust, theyâre not coming back. They donât trust you anymore.
So, the pre-screening thing. This was wonderful, âcause this just happened a couple weeks ago and we already had this as the [panel] description, and we were like âoooh, real life example.â âCause Iâve definitely had people before ask me about if they could read it beforehand, and Iâm always like,ânope.â And thatâs never been a problem.
But there was a blogger recently who agreed with the manufacturer that the manufacturer could âproofreadâ the review before it was published â that was the word that was used â and the blogger said âokayâ⊠donât do that. Itâs a bad idea. Itâs a red flag, is what it is, because itâs kind of a sign of a company thatâs controlling, and they sort of donât understand the landscape. Thatâs not how things work, and if you wanted everything to be sunshine and roses then you shouldnât be getting a reviewer.
And then the manufacturer was mad because the review mentioned an orgasm. So thatâs weirdâŠ
[audience laughs]Lorax: Um, are we writing about sex toys?
Epiphora: I guess not? Iâm not sure? And threatened to sue her if she published the review at all â which, by the way, you canât do. Talk to Davis here at Sexquire, theyâll tell you that if itâs your opinion itâs pretty much not defamation, and it cannot really be seen as such. But the moral of that story is: trust your instincts, and if you get a sense that someone is going to go batshit insane, donât work with them. What do you got to say, Metis?
Metis Black, in audience: I also want to say how quick the network of bloggers isâŠ
Epiphora: I actually have another paragraph about that! Yeah. We talk to each other. Really quickly. And you may not see it â it may be in emails, it may be in a protected post â but itâs there, and we all know now that we are never working with you again.
Lorax: Our phones blow up.
Epiphora: And then when we review your toys, we have this weird, unnecessary anger, if you donât know the story.
[audience laughs]Youâre like, âshe seems kind of bitter about something, but okay.â So thatâs how that goes down. So donât agree to pre-screening, itâs stupid.
Jenna: You know what, I personally think all reviews are worthwhile, even if they are negative. Maybe someone found a toy too soft, or thought that it angled wrong; customers who are reading that are going to still take that information, and thatâs good to know. Particularly for Tantus toys, which tend to be a higher price point.
There is nothing more heartbreaking for me when Iâm answering the phone than someone calls up and says, âI saved for months to get this toy, I was so excited about it, and I got it and it was completely different than what I expected.â Thatâs so hard for me, âcause I know what I would feel, and Iâve put myself in that position.
I work really hard to try to get a feel for what toys might be a hit with a particular reviewer. I was talking to Lorax and Piph last night, and they were kind of surprised to hear that I keep files on all of our affiliatesâŠ
Epiphora: I love this.
Jenna: I have a drawer full in my office where I keepâŠ
Lorax: Like C.I.A. files.
Epiphora: Itâs like a spy file.
Jenna: I call them the dossier. And basically, I list all the toys theyâve tried, things they like, what they donât like, do they like anal toys. Thatâs part of my job, is to make sure that Iâm trying to match the reviewer to the toy in the way that I can â now, itâs not to say that theyâre gonna love it. But I at least make the effort and do it my best. You know, if they hate toys with texture, and I send them a Tsunami or something, then I shouldnât expect a glowing review. Thatâs just dumb.
Epiphora: That sounds like you sent them a natural disaster.
[audience laughs]Epiphora: That is a toy they make. Itâs pretty cool.
Jenna: A lot of times weâll do a promotion, and let affiliates know ahead of time. For example, next month the big promotion of our website is going to be anal toys. I have reviewers who do not test anal toys. So Iâm not about to just send them an anal toy that theyâre not even gonna use, because again that represents an investment for Tantus.
Lorax: Iâll take theirs.
Jenna: OK, good to know. They created this toy, and thereâs a cost to that. So what Iâm trying to do is get a return on that investment â and in a smart way that is going to build our business and grow our business.
Iâm really hands-off when it comes to pre-screening. I donât look at reviews. I check them over. I think Iâve only ever asked for one change, and it was a typo. We have a toy called the Anaconda, and someone called it the âAnacandaâ⊠and I talked in a Boston accent for like a week and a half because I thought it was so funny. But she changed it.
I would be really wary of companies who want editorial rights. In a sense, bloggers are sort of the new journalists, and thereâs a journalistic integrity that needs to be preserved there. So Iâm gonna try and do my best to impress you, and I hope that this toy does. And if it does, great! And if not, then letâs try again and talk about it.
Iâm also lucky in that Iâve never had anybody publish anything that I felt like was malicious. Do you know what I mean? Most of my reviewers are really intelligent andâŠ
Epiphora: Itâs because you treat them well.
Jenna: Theyâve never done anything sort of underhanded.
Krista: Yeah, I would say that every time I send out a toy, itâs not for a guaranteed positive review. Itâs for a review of the toy. And an honest review thatâs gonna help someone else make an educated choice about whether that toy would work for them. And sometimes, thatâs not just saying, you know, âoh, this was my experience with the toy,â itâs sometimes looking at the toy and saying, âwhat could someone elseâs experience be with this product?â
But honesty is really what weâre going for in the exchange. Weâre not paying people for a positive review. And I donât pre-screen reviews. Iâve gotten negative reviews back, and we have a great return policy, so thatâs the one thing Iâll say is, âif you didnât like the toy, could you just mention we have this wonderful return policy?â So if someone still thinks they want to try this toy, they have the opportunity to return it and do better. Because I think we all have the same goal of really helping people make these decisions about what toys are gonna work best for them.
Epiphora: Yeah, âcause what Jenna was saying, if someone hates something that you thought they would like, it really bothers you. Thatâs my nightmare: someone emailing me being like, âI just spent $100 on the Pure Wand and I actually think itâs the worst thing Iâve ever put in my vagina.â
Lorax: Sorry, Piph, thatâs me.
Epiphora: Which, thatâs not the worst thing youâve putâŠ
[audience laughs]And you have the most articulate anti-Pure Wand review thatâs ever been. But thatâs my goal, is to be so honest, so ridiculously honest, that no one could ever get something they hate. Which, obviously itâs gonna happen, but it is a terrible thing.
Lorax: So, speaking of negative reviewsâŠ
Epiphora: Forever.
What if youâre going to hate a product and you know ahead of time? Do you still review it?
Lorax: So Iâm actually gonna start off on this one, because this is where I have opinions.
There are definite times where you hate product or you donât like a product, and youâre not sitting there going, âthis product is AWFUL!â Itâs more just like âyou know, I donât really like this, and itâs not really worth my time. Iâm not full of vitriol and seething rage⊠itâs just sort of⊠white bread.â And those are times where you ask if you can pass.
Or Iâll tell a company my feedback and Iâll say, you know, maybe thereâs a better option of a toy I can review. The dimensions on this are a little off, or the angle on itâs a little off, the textureâs a little off. But you have this other model thatâs really similar; can I review that and maybe do a comparison? Say, you know, âhey, I got sent this and I was like âeh,â but I got this other one and I was like âwoo!â And this is why. So make your selection between these two very similar toys based on that.â Thatâs not really censorship, like we talked about. Itâs also really really fucking hard to write about something that youâre just blasĂ© about.
Angry reviews are the easiest thing ever in the world to write. Sometimes you start writing it before youâve even gotten the product.
Epiphora: Oh yeah. Oh, Iâve done that so many times. Let me critique your website, please.
Lorax: It happens. Itâs really easy to just pour that vitriol out. Rave reviews can sort of go either way; they can be really easy to review if you want to sing from the rooftops that this is the best thing ever. But they can also be difficult to write because youâre like, âI love it! Itâs great! Um⊠words…â Too-long-didnât-read version is, âI love it, itâs great, go buy it⊠yeah.â
But there are times where you think, âI donât like it. Itâs awful. If this were food at a restaurant, I would send it back to the kitchen, walk out, and tell everyone I know and Yelp and call the local newspaper and get them shut down.â And those are the reviews that you write because you hate it. And I love those. So itâs amazing that Jenna ever wants to send me anything because I feel like I have the fear of God in me.
And because sometimes companies donât actually test this shit on actual genitals. Fun fact.
Epiphora: You can tell.
Lorax: And sometimes they get suckered into their own junk science, and their charts and graphs and their pretty pictures⊠which mean nothing. Iâll admit to once or twice requesting a toy that I knew I was going to hate, because I had to tell the world it was horrid. And I wanted to set it on some train tracks and make a Vine of that shit getting run over by a train. You know, the world deserves to know, and I am not sorry about this. So, yeah. Sometimes, you hate some shit and thatâs the way it goes, and obviously I have some feels on this shit.
Coyote Days, in audience: Iâm just not super clear how you can write vitriolic hate about a product before you even have it.
Epiphora: Oh. MarketingâŠ
Lorax: Color, design, website, marketing. They way they approach you, mansplanation. These sorts of things.
Coyote: Whatâs mansplanation?
Lorax: Iâll let Piph take the mansplanation question, âcause she loves this shit.
Epiphora: I do love that word.
Lorax: Love, and I use that word quite wrongly.
Epiphora: I definitely can write shit before Iâve received the toy, because itâs not justâŠ
Coyote: Before youâve reviewed it?
Epiphora: Before I receive it. Iâm saying, like, I look at the website, itâs gendered, itâs badly written, itâs ugly, and the way theyâre marketing the toy concerns me. Maybe their Twitter account, something like that. So yeah, I definitely get a headstart there. It takes me a while once I get the toy, because I have to try it, and itâs a lot easier to write about writing than it is about a toy. But yes, all of it is kind of the entire package, I think.
Mansplanation, so⊠[laughs] mansplaining is when a dude tries to tell you, as a woman, how something is, when you actually know better because youâre a woman. And I do kind of use it very loosely, and potentially problematically, but I just think itâs a great word.
Lorax: âOh, the world is so hard for you, you have a vagina! Let me tell you about the fact that I canât get into a womenâs-only space because I have a penis.â
Epiphora: Right. So, the way I apply it to this is that I get companies where, if I donât like the toy, I know that if I email them and tell them that, they are going to mansplain to me. Theyâre going to say, âyou know, thereâs other settings on this toy. Did you know thereâs another button there, and you hold it down for two seconds and something happens?â
Lorax: âYou know, itâs an external toy, not an internal toy.â
Epiphora: Right. Or like, âmaybe you should try a different position, you know?â Something like that. And Iâm just like, I really donât want to hear it, because nothing you tell me is going to make me do a 180 and suddenly love the toy. So if I get that sense about the company, I just wonât email them. Iâll just write the review. But companies that I do like, that are nice to me, if I have an issue, I will write to them and talk about it â because I feel like Iâll be heard and I wonât be shut down and I wonât be told that Iâm somehow wrong.
So, this actually happened fairly recently with Krista because she sent me a Lovehoney rabbit and I just was so indifferent, so painfully indifferent about it. I was just starting to loathe the thought of reviewing it because it wouldâve been boring for everyone. Thatâs what it comes down to. And so, I was talking to a [blogger] friend and my friend mentioned that she wanted to try this particular rabbit, and I was like, âum, I have an idea! Would you like this rabbit, and then you can email Krista and see if maybe she would let you review it, instead of me?â And somehow this was agreed to, so that worked out really well for everyone, I think.
Krista: Yeah. I mean, itâs about the communication.
Epiphora: Itâs a weird reviewer thing.
Krista: That doesnât happen every day, and they obviously had that connection. The review communityâs pretty robust, as you can kind of tell from all the inside stuff thatâs going on here. But yeah, I mean, when you have that kind of relationship between the company and the reviewer, and you can kind of communicate, and she can say to me, you know, âI actually donât really love this toy, donât really hate this toy, donât really want to write about this toy, but I have an alternate solution,â and then I can say, âwell, you were honest with me. I donât want to force you to write about this toy.â We have kind of, you know â
Epiphora: We go way back.
Krista: Weâve had a lot of toys between us â
Epiphora: [laughs] Thatâs kind of weird.
Krista: â that Iâve sent out and sheâs done a lot of reviews over the years for me, so just that one toy, you know, we can make the exception. If it was a reviewer where that was the only toy Iâd ever sent them and they were like, âcan I send this to my best friend?â Well, sure, if youâre going to post a review on your site, you can have whoever you want review it⊠but if you want to make a special situation like that, itâs just all about communicating and being open to different options when itâs not working out exactly how you would have hoped.
Lorax: So thereâs another aspect of this that we get asked about a lot and itâs sort of the $10,000 question, or the $39,000 question, depending on how you look at it â and thatâs the question of money.
Can you make money doing this? Can you actually pay your bills doing this? Are affiliate programs a necessary part of the equation?
Piph, Iâll let you kick this one off. I think you have feels.
Epiphora: I have many. I have many. My answer is gonna be kind of long about this, but thatâs okay, I think. People always ask, âcan you make money? Can you make money?â Well, you can, with the affiliate programs and advertising and stuff, but only if youâre realistic and you really put the work in. You canât just set up a blog and put some links in it. If no one reads it, no one clicks the links, and you donât make money.
So you have to be extremely persistent and you kind of have to become a trusted voice. You have to have a couple years, maybe, Iâd say, under your belt before you start making affiliate money, just from my experience.
You shouldnât do sex toy reviews for money. That shouldnât be the reason. It should be because you love toys and you love to write. If itâs not, and itâs just the toys, youâll end up quitting before you even get to the point where you start making money.
For me, though, because Iâve been doing this for a while, coming up on six years, I have made it my personal policy to almost never review for a company unless they have an affiliate program. Because for me, free sex toys are not payment enough anymore. Maybe when I started, it was exciting [laughs] and everything, but now, you know, I think that if I love something, I should get a percentage of the sales from that review where I freak the fuck out over how great something is. And orgasms canât pay my rentâŠ
Lorax: Or buy cat food.
Epiphora: Or buy cat food, or vet bills, or any of that â which I wish. People think that orgasms are so good that it makes up for everything or something, but it doesnât.
So yeah, I think that if you want to work with reviewers, you should probably have an affiliate program â some sort of incentive program for the people you work with, to show that you value them beyond just the initial 800 words or whatever that they write about the toy.
So I have an example of a company that shut down their affiliate program, and the reason that they gave was kind of infuriating. So Iâm actually just gonna read it, because itâs great. It says:
If we have to pay our customers to recommend us to their friends, then we probably donât deserve that recommendation in the first place. In addition, the cost of managing and paying out on an affiliates program can alternately be invested back into our customers in the form of better promotions and sales.
So, this sounds good, right? Sort of, youâre kind of like, seems legit â but what theyâre actually saying is that the customers matter but the people sending the customers, putting out the good word, doing their work for them in some cases, donât matter. And they are misrepresenting what an affiliate program is, because it doesnât pay for reviews â it just rewards them. So that is something that kind of bothered me. If youâre gonna shut it down, maybe just donât even write about why, because thereâs no real, good reason. But they tried to make it sound like it was for the good of everyone involved, even the affiliates, and I was like, âhmm. Interesting.â
Krista: Good answer, there. âWe donât have the resources.â Just leave it at that.
Epiphora: Yeah, just be super vague about it. Exactly.
Oh, and I did want to point out that if you canât do an affiliate program for some reason, you know, there are other ways you can do things. Like you can set up a coupon code thatâs specific to an affiliate, and then anyone who uses that code, the affiliate gets a percentage of the sales. Like, you pretty much canât convince me that you canât implement that. [laughs] The only way is if you donât have a coupon code system, so⊠if you value us, you can do it.
Lorax: Krista? Or Jenna? Either of you, do you have anything to add?
Krista: Well, Iâve definitely encountered people who have contacted me and said, you know, said they donât want to become an affiliate but theyâre interested in reviewing a toy or a product maybe because they just need content for their site and they already have plenty of advertisers. Theyâre not trying to necessarily make money off of the review, but they want to talk about the toys.
So there are instances where someone might not be interested in an affiliate program, but we still go through the same kind of⊠if someoneâs just, âIâm lazy, I donât want to sign up for the affiliate program, but I want you to send me a toy, and look it, Iâve got a blog,â it just kind of makes you wonder how much effort theyâre really gonna put in once they get that toy⊠and if they write a review, whether theyâre going to follow through any further than that.
But for the most part, I mean, an affiliate program can really be incentive to keep going and I also think that, something that Iâve noticed â if you have a very focused idea about what your mission is, what youâre talking about on your blog, it might not even take those two years for you to build up that traffic. Like, thereâs this site that some of you might have seen thatâs called Oh Joy, Sex Toy⊠just came out within the last few monthsâŠ
Epiphora: Yeah, she was like, successful immediately.
Krista: And immediate traffic.
Epiphora: âCause people know who she is.
Krista: So if you have a background in something and you really focus what youâre good at, you know â donât try to copy what Piph is doing, donât say, âoh sheâs successful, sheâs doing it that way, Iâll do it.â Figure out what your passion is, and then youâre gonna enjoy doing it and people are going to come to see that.
Epiphora: And then buy shit. [laughs]
Jenna: You know, Tantus is kind of in a weird position when it comes to our affiliate program because 95% of our business or even more is the manufacturing concern: we make toys, we sell them to the trade, we sell them to the retail shops, and they sell those. The web store, which is kind of where the affiliate program is focused, really only represents a very small percentage of Tantusâ overall business. So itâs not a huge financial driver the way it would be for an ecommerce site.
And so for us, you know, an affiliate link is nice for me because it helps me track exactly whatâs happening with bloggers. Itâs an easy kind of metric to use. Theyâre making a lot of commission, it looks like, and so I know theyâre bringing me a lot of traffic. We also pay very close attention to whoâs sending us links and where people are clicking from.
So I have, honest, all the time on my screen, when Iâm at work, 9 hours a day, the Google Analytics page with the live feed so I can see â if you hop onto the Tantus site, chances are, Iâm getting a little light on your state showing me where youâre coming from, which is kinda cool. So I do sort of track that as well.
The reason we have a reviewer and affiliate program is kind of twofold. Number one, it allows us a huge testing ground for potential new colors, sizes, design⊠we get a lot of market information. Itâs a way to build relationships with people who are thought leaders in these kinds of circles. We get great feedback. Itâs one thing to send a toy out to somebody, but if they only tell me, âyeah itâs great, itâs wonderful, I used it with my wife and she loved it,â thatâs not really helpful for me because our toys are intended to be anatomically targeted. Tell me how the toy worked for you and why it did, and a thoughtful review is really necessary. So thatâs one reason we have this review/affiliate program at all.
I also think that it creates pull for our sales department. If customers are learning about Tantus and theyâre reading reviews online, you know, theyâre doing research before they buy. Then they go into their local brick and mortar and they say, âhey, do you guys carry Tantus?â And the store owner says, âno, Iâve never heard of them, maybe I should get in touch with them. People are coming in and theyâre saying âTantus Tantus Tantus TantusâŠââ So, for me, thatâs even more valuable necessarily than even just the affiliate program. Metis did youâŠ
Metis Black, in audience: Bringing it down to about 1% of our sales come from our website. Itâs really a testing thing for us to see what colors are hot, what sizes are hot, and get more spec data than we do when a buyer is buying. Case in point: Good Vibrations, we used to make a mint color that Epiphora would have lovedâŠ
Epiphora: Wouldâve.
Lorax: It was so gorgeous!
Metis: And Good Vibrations chose Silks in this lavender and this green and the green made the top ten of our list of the time because they were buying so much. So, buyerâs choice can skew what we have a success with.
The other thing that I wanted to say is, I hope and I try in social media⊠if Good Vibrations had had someone review a Tantus toy, I want to plug them, I want that affiliate program to succeed, and I want to send that â whether itâs Lovehoney or Good Vibrations or whoever â I want that review to be seen by more and more people⊠as many people as can possibly be seen.
Epiphora: Yeah, Iâm always surprised that manufacturers donât jump on that shit.
Jenna: I do!
Epiphora: Youâre one of the only ones, though.
Krista: I can say itâs interesting for the company in that regard, because sometimes you have, from people higher up, they say, you know, âwe donât want you to be tweeting everybodyâs affiliate link; those people are supposed to be going out and finding new people, not tapping into our community.â But Iâm of the same way, Iâve always felt like, these guys are making reviews for us. Theyâre creating content about our products. We want to support that and retweet and all those things, but sometimes you have the official protocol of the Twitter or whatever it is that says you canât do that so much because we donât want everyone to think weâre⊠we donât want to send links away as much.
But as a manufacturer in that situation where youâre working with a retailer as well, youâre just trying to get that name out there. So we kind of have lots of layers: you have manufacturers, you have retailers, you have the bloggers, reviewersâŠ
Lorax: And so weâve got one more question for us up here on the table before we open it up for the rest of you. And that is, so we as bloggers and reviewers, we get readership, right? We also get free products â sometimes it lasts through the testing process and sometimes we cut it open to see whatâs on the inside because science!
But what do the companies get? And why should these two wonderful people here sitting at the table â why should they even bother sending stuff to us? Why do that?
Krista: Well, I think a lot of it is the word of mouth that weâre just talking about. Itâs getting those links out there, kind of boosting the SEO, the Google seeing your links out there in the world, seeing people talking about the products. Getting the feedback. On Lovehoney, we have a huge resource of reviews. We want people to review our products. We really do want people to make educated choices. And reaching out to the community and people who are really knowledgeable about these toys to give their feedback helps us all get to the point where weâre finding what we really want in the first place. So I think itâs just getting that word of mouth out, because a lot of the toy companies donât necessarily do a lot of paid advertising, and so this is a way for us to really get word of mouth out thatâs more authentic.
Epiphora: Slightly more genuine, yeah. I mean, the obvious stuff, of course, is the companies get publicity, they get their name out there, people see it, they get links. But what a lot of companies donât understand, or believe, I suppose, is that even a negative review is driving traffic to their site. Iâve seen the referring URLs. Iâve seen them! Well, I try to. Some companies wonât show them to me. But I want to know which review led to a sale. And itâs the same: negative, positive, itâs all going to the same place.
And the reason is, I think, a person is reading a sex toy review because they want to buy a sex toy! And theyâre gonna read it and go, âhuh, well that one sucks⊠but this other thing thatâs also on this website doesnât look like it sucks.â Or maybe Iâve recommended something else instead of the toy. So theyâre still gonna buy a sex toy, itâs just not going to be the one that I just massacred in front of their face. So yeah, I think itâs bullshit when theyâre just like, âwell, negative reviews donât get us any traffic; no one buys from us from that.â Itâs a lie.
Lorax: Jenna?
Jenna: So what does Tantus get out of reviews? Iâm gonna kind of veer off Tantus script, if you donât mind, Metis, because itâs kind of a personal answer. You know, I love retail, I love the pace of that, sort of making my goals, and being financially successful. But really, at heart, I want to start a revolution. I think thereâs a lot of really damaging and negative messaging about sex in this culture. I hear from people every single day who are ashamed about their sex lives, or think that they donât deserve pleasure, that their sex life is not working for them, and thatâs just the way it is, and they give up. That has an effect on people, and I hear it in our voices. I hear all kinds of stories. Come sit down at the bar afterward and Iâll tell you all about it.
I have a great job in the world because I get to spend 40 hours a week talking about the importance of good sex education, and ways to improve access to medically accurate sexual health information. For some people who call me, I am their only resource for sex ed information. You know, itâs one thing to be in L.A. or New York and have access to really great shops. But what if youâre out in rural West Virginia or northern Idaho, and thereâs no sex stores around, and you donât know who to ask, and your doctor is not willing to answer your questions â and heavens, if you even ask them, theyâd think youâre some sort of crazy weirdo? I have people tell me all the time that they are just so isolated where theyâre at.
So again, I think that what I do is part of a larger movement, and Iâm really excited at the prospect of a culture where pleasure-based sex is okay, and I look forward to seeing that world someday. Iâm really hoping that we do. Tantus is on board with this in a way that I havenât seen other places. Tantus sends out toys because itâs important to educate people on what makes a sex toy great: quality materials, thoughtful design, but also commitment to this idea that everybody deserves sexual health and sexual pleasure, and you can have both. And that is your birthright. And that you deserve both.
Lorax: Yeah.
Epiphora: [laughs]
Krista: I just got chills.
Lorax: Shit.
[audience laughs]Lorax: Damn.
So in todayâs modern world, you know, linking is important. Krista mentioned SEO and Google Analytics, that sort of thing. You have to have an online presence if you want to make it in this world as a retailer, if you want to make it in this world as a company, as a manufacturer. You have to, or you are going to die in a fiery pit of death. So web presence is important â Google PageRank, all of that.
But more than that, we get the discussion out there. Krista mentioned, you know, sometimes people say, âoh, well, weâre not here to push their affiliate codes. Theyâre supposed to be helping us get a new audience.â Well, so the people who follow â weâll use Lovehoney for an example. People who follow Lovehoney on Twitter, yeah, they already know about Lovehoney. But they donât know about all the products and all of the toys⊠they donât have an encyclopedic knowledge of this. So theyâll see a review come by and theyâll be like, âoh, hey! Thatâs really helpful.â That helps you get more information.
Also, Iâve had people say, âhey, I saw this review about this toy and I thought of you. And I thought youâd love it.â Or, âI thought youâd hate it and youâd want to rip it a new one.â Either way, you get people who will then refer somebody who doesnât already know about it. Somebody will email it, somebody will tweet it, somebody will retweet it, and then you are accessing a whole ânother audience that you didnât have before. So thatâs really important.
I work in a retail environment, and for me, reviewers are priceless. Thatâs how I get product knowledge information that is not canned from a company. I can talk all day about what Company X and Company Y tells me about their new, amazing, revolutionary, groundbreaking, never-before-seen three-ring circus of a toy. But how does it actually perform in the real world?
I send customers constantly to Epiphoraâs site. Especially gentlemen I send to RuffledSheets.com, an amazing gentleman out of the U.K. who is one of the few male reviewers out there really doing this. And thatâs a voice thatâs not being heard. So thatâs a really important thing. That, to me, is priceless.
And, you know, it goes to the usefulness of a toy, and helps people know if something is actually a poor performer in real life. It may be endorsed by Oprah Magazine, and you may have seen it on Sex and the City, and the Real Housewives of Whatâs-it-Who, and all of this stuff. But what does that mean? That means they have good product placement and theyâve got a good PR manager. That doesnât speak to the toy. And anyone who is unwilling to flat-out provide gratis for me to review a toy, and insists that the only means for me to review your product is to buy it myself? Youâre getting the side-eye. I donât trust that. And it makes me wonder why â what donât you want me to know? What donât you want me to say about your product? At least for me, thatâs a big thing.
So, we would like to open up the floor to some questions, so that we can hear if thereâs anything that we didnât say that yâall want to hear! Or if you just want to hear more funny weird stories from us.
Attendee, in audience: I have a question for Krista and Jenna. Beyond a review relationship, can you offer suggestions on starting maybe a sponsorship relationship for events, or a web series, or that sort of thing?
Krista: From my experience, it really is going to depend on the company and where theyâre at. A lot of the companies, for example Lovehoney, we donât do any paid sponsorships. So going in, you just know that thatâs not an option. But there are smaller companies that might be putting a lot more into an advertising budget and might be a better fit for something like that. Unfortunately we just donât do that type of sponsorship.
Jenna: Generally speaking, we have a really small, sort of nascent marketing department. Weâve only had it maybe the last year and a half. And for a long time it was me â I was the marketing department. Weâre lucky enough now to have a staff of three. We donât do a lot of financial sponsorship of things, only because weâre a small company and we donât have very big budgets.
But if youâre looking for something like, you know, toys for a giveaway, you want to run a contest, you want free Tantus buttons and stickers to give out at an event, you want information, you want those kinds of things â Iâm absolutely happy to try and help support events that kind of fall within our values and guidelines. Generally, thereâs not really a policy on this, but basically come talk to me and weâll see what we can do. I canât promise anything huge, but certainly if youâre looking for things like raffle prizes, contests, weâd like to do a giveaway on our website, absolutely. We can usually manage that.
Metis: And universities.
Jenna: Yeah, universities. Iâm sending a whole bunch of stuff to Harvard. Our toys are going to college!
[audience laughs]Krista: In that case, you know, you just want to do the same kind of type of professional outreach. Even if you donât know what they have to offer, be flexible. If you have different options, maybe you could use just a toy donation⊠just kind of reach out and say what you have to offer, what you have in mind, and be flexible to negotiate â to get something out of it for everybody.
Jenna: And if you can give me a reason why youâre choosing Tantus and not⊠I can tell the emails where theyâre just calling every toy manufacturer in the phone book, and the emails where theyâre actually interested in Tantus because of what we do, and what we do differently than other companies. And thatâs where you get my heart.
Penny: I have a question for everyone about the idea of affiliate link loyalty. Say one manufacturer or one company sends you the the toy. Is it okay to include multiple links to different affiliates?
If itâs a manufacturer it seems like it would make more sense and thatâs more okay, because they just want the toys out there. But if itâs a retailer, do you need to be loyal or not? Whereâs the line there?
Lorax and Epiphora in unison: Um.
Epiphora: I have things.
Lorax: I have things.
[rock paper scissors twice, both a draw]Epiphora: That is the kind of thing I think you should talk about with the company. If a manufacturer is sending you something, yeah, it sounds like you should be able to link wherever. But, you know, if you think itâs a possibility that they would misunderstand this, and they would be like âsorry, you need to just link to our website where thereâs no affiliate programâ â like, thatâs a problem for me. So if Iâm reaching out to a manufacturer, I let them know, âI do want to review this, but Iâm going to be linking to affiliate shops that Iâm with, because you donât have a program.â Yeah, I wouldnât quite assume. And then if a shop sends you one, usually itâs just shop links is what you can only use in that review.
Lorax: In my experience, I have a personal rule I do hold: if somebody sends me a product, and I have an active relationship with that company â footnote â I do hold to linking to products through their store, unless I am recommending something that they do not carry.
Epiphora: Yeah, it sucks.
Lorax: Those of you who read my blog, or if you read my blog later, you will see Iâm a big proponent of oil-based lubricant for butt fun. Many of the so-called feminist sex-positive sex stores do not carry oil-based lubricants because theyâve been very vagina-centric, and oil-based lubes are not the friend of the vagina. Which is totally cool, but when Iâm talking about, you know, Tantusâ amazing butt plug that I really love, and I want to tell people this is my favorite lube to use with it â I canât necessarily link to the company or the store that sent that toy to me for my lube reference.
And so I will tell them, âhey, all the links for everything else are going to be to you, but Iâm gonna link to these other people for this one product because I have to. Because you donât carry it.â And that also tells them, âhey, you should carry this shit.â
My footnote on that being âactive relationshipâ: I have been sent toys that were in my review queue that I was interested in reviewing, and in that time period between, that relationship has dissolved for various reasons. At that point, I treat that toy as if I have purchased it of my own money and my own volition, and I link to whoever the fuck I want to.
Epiphora: Go rogue.
Lorax: That is me going with either who has the best selection, who gives me the best kickback, who do I like this weekâŠ
Epiphora: I think another good solution to that is have reviews of all the shit you wanna link to. That works out for me!
Lorax: Well thatâs you because youâve been around for like, six years. And we love you for it.
Epiphora: I really like Sliquid lube, and so I just wrote this post that was like, âmy favorite lube is Sliquid anything,â right? And I wrote it, honestly, mostly so I could link to it. Because whenever I talk about lube, I just link to it. You can connect the dots. So then I donât have to link to a shop, and they can find out why I specifically like the lube.
Joan Price, in audience: You havenât mentioned advertisers as an alternative to affiliates.
Epiphora: Advertisers are a totally different thing, yeah.
Lorax: You have no scruples with taking advertising.
Epiphora: I donât. Mostly my policy is: I will sell my soul for sidebar advertising, but the content is sacred. Unfortunately, I wish I could take money just from really great reputable companies, you know, and put those in my sidebar, but thatâs just not how it is. A lot of the companies who are spending the money are new, and they donât know what theyâre doing. And Iâm happy to take their money, because I think people arenât clicking those ads, honestly⊠if you want the truth. People are clicking the links in the reviews, and the things in the posts and on the website.
I donât know. Itâs a kind of awkward area, because you want to be like, âitâs all good toys, all the timeâ on this website. But youâve got to make money somehow. One of my goals is definitely to never have to have advertising partnerships with people I donât really like that much⊠but not yet.
Lorax: I donât do much by way of paid advertising⊠for that reason. My sidebar I do use for my affiliate links and that sort of thing. Iâve had one or two people approach me about advertising, and I made the judgement call at that point, with the way that I have designed my site, that text links donât flow well with it for me. And Iâm not really willing to put a full sidebar button up for somebody that I donât stand behind. And thatâs my personal decision.
Does it mean that I donât make money on my site? Fuck yeah it does. I donât have to pay taxes based on revenue from my site because I donât make much off my site. And Iâm okay with that. Like Piph said earlier, donât do this because you want to get rich off dildos. Youâre not gonna be a dillionaire doing this.
Like, youâre just not. This is because you love giving out good sex ed information. This is because you love toys. This is possibly because you love writing⊠sometimes you realize you didnât really love writing.
Epiphora: YeahâŠ
Lorax: This is because you have a passion to be on that soapbox and to be spreading that information and that truth, and that love or that vitriol. And thatâs why you do this.
Joan: If I could just offer something from my experience. I work with a set of advertisers whose sites I endorse and that I vetted, but I also will go approach companies that I like. âYou know, you should really be advertising on my blog, because it reaches this demographic that you need.â And nine times out of ten theyâll say no, or ânot at this time.â But then the tenth time, thereâs a yes. So we donât have to patiently wait for people to come to us.
Epiphora: Right. I mean, I think I would do that if a company didnât have an affiliate program. But if they do, I already have their banner. If Iâm doing it of my own free will, putting it there, then I donât know if Iâll make any more money from a flat rate. âCause someone could go and buy $500 worth of sex toys in one sitting⊠and I want that to happen.
Lorax: We have time for one more question.
Lyndzi: How long would you say⊠I assume when you started your websites, you were reviewing toys that you already owned.
How long would you say that you reviewed toys that you already owned, or went out and bought new toys, before you actually started using it as more as a business, that you were getting things in return?
Lorax: I started off posting about toys that I had, and posting informational content. I do not just post reviews. I also post⊠I have an epic lube post. If you want to read about lube, if you love lube, please go read it. Not tooting my own horn, but itâs about lube and itâs great. It gets linked to a lot. Iâm big about the education aspect. So for me, I also write about: Iâm kinky, I am part of the BDSM community, I used to be an active part of the leather community â Iâm not, I write about that too and why. So for me, and for what Iâve seen with people in my vein, itâs less about how many reviews youâve done, and active content and active engaging.
I also had⊠a little bit of a background⊠I used to make a thing that were called âzinesââŠ
Lorax: They were these paper things and you Xeroxed them, and you stapled them and folded them, and you handed them out at your local punk rock venues. And I used to have a zine in which I wrote about this stuff, back in the day of paper. And so I had a little bit of a background there, which I feel like helped get my foot in the door.
Epiphora: Yeah, Iâm totally different. This is wonderful. I actually started getting them for free. However, thatâs not really how it happens a lot now. âCause it used to be, there was kind of a time when â
Lorax: It was the Golden Era of Sex Toys.
Epiphora: It was like âdildos, for everyone! You can all have them!â
Lorax: âDildos for everyone!â Itâs like Oprah.
Epiphora: So I was kind of spoiled at the beginning, although I did review crappier things then, right, like lower price point things that I probably wouldnât want to try now. Also because I didnât have a lot of experience, so those were all still new to me and exciting. Like, âoh a slimline vibe thatâs plastic, thatâs awesome!â Now Iâm like, âno.â
So then I just started working with a bunch of different companies. Again, it was a good time for that, to get in with the companies. Now I think itâs a lot more difficult. But if you have stuff, you should definitely review it. And if you donât, you should spend a little bit of money. And yeah, pad it out maybe with some other stuff. You do have to spend a little bit more up front, I think, now if youâre starting out now. Because thereâs not these programs that there used to be. But you can get lucky sometimes! So just send the emails and see what happens.
Lorax: And write about why you want to do this. Write about what your angle is, if youâve got a unique angle and youâve got a unique community that youâre coming from, definitely give thatâŠ
Epiphora: Yeah. Use that shit all the time. I donât have one, so.
Attendee, in audience: I have a question for you two [Krista and Jenna]. What you were just talking about. I have some very nice â thank you for the Realdoe, by the way. Well, no, you didnât give it to me, but thank you for producing that. But, you know, so Iâm going to work on those reviews. I donât know whoâs looking at my blog. Iâve been blogging for about a year. I have a very modest number of Twitter followers at this time.
How do you take that into consideration when youâre looking at potential people? Do you look at their Twitter followers? Is there a way to figure out whoâs looking at their blog?
Krista: I kind of look at everything. Like, how often do you blog? So itâs not super often, but is it consistent? Do you seem legit? If you send me a link to your site and it has three posts, and you tell me you have six thousand followers, and I canât find any of that in the real world, then Iâm skeptical.
But at the same time, like Piph said, we usually have a range of products. Somebody who is just getting started might not be in the running for a $150 sex toy, but if you just want to try something new, usually there is kind of some wiggle room there. And if it looks like youâre gonna stick with it, and youâre not just a flash in the pan, then you know, weâre kind of willing to grow with you.
Jenna: And I would say all of that as well as, again, I look for that core values sort of fit. You know, Iâd be willing to send a toy â try it out, see what you think, write a review, see if weâre getting some traffic for that, and weâll go from there.
Krista: It can happen with somebody whoâs established that you think theyâre never gonna disappear. Those people will disappear too after you send them a toy. So every time itâs a gamble. But just show that youâre actually taking it seriously and that itâs something that you are putting some effort into and being honest about timelines and things like that.
I wanted to say, also: take the toys that you get at this conference and review them, and then get back in touch with those companies. Because thatâs why theyâre here! And if you say âI got your We-Vibe Thrill and I reviewed it, and here itâs on my site,â youâre starting a relationship with that company. And when they come out with the We-Vibe 5, you might be on their list if they really enjoyed your review. And itâs not just the traffic that came to your site â maybe they can reprint some of that on their own site, and give that insight out to other people.
Epiphora: Yeah, make the connections early and keep them. And if you like someone, stay with them.
Lorax: I believe that is our time. Thank you, everyone! Please do come talk to us, we donât bite unless you ask.