I am anxiously awaiting the delivery of $120 worth of condoms and dental dams to my door. Orgy at my house? Not quite.
I’m a raver, for those of you who don’t follow my twitter feed. I also work to make raves a safer environment through my association with Stay Safe Seattle, a risk-reduction group who strives to educate and help people make the most informed decisions with regard to drug and alcohol use, as well as safer sex. This weekend we have the first of a series of training sessions to update all our lovely volunteers on the newest information available. I have been asked to teach the safer-sex portion of this, being the self-proclaimed kinky-raver that I am. I’ll be teaching our volunteers about safer-sex for themselves, as well as how to talk about it with those who come up to our booth for information and supplies.
I’m re-compiling my list of safer-sex resources. A lot of what I have isn’t perfect, but is useful (SF City Clinic’s risk chart, and the AIDS Committee of Toronto are two of my favourites). I’m curious what you think are things that folk often aren’t told, what you weren’t told or had to learn for yourself, that I should include? What are your favourite safer-sex practice links, bloggers, and resources? I am particularly looking for queer- and kink-related resources and questions, as these are the things which our volunteers are lacking in information on currently.
I’m late to the ball game on this post… way late. But that’s okay.
I live in North Carolina, and our sex education was piss-poor. It was abstinence-only. In educational environments like that, you aren’t really taught safer sex practices. I only knew how to use a condom properly because of the internet. I didn’t know what a dental dam was until college, because oral sex was never mentioned at all, despite the fact that everyone around me was having it. But there are plenty of common complaints about abstinence-only ed.
Here’s a less common complaint: we were never taught what objects were totally unsuitable to use in sex. I’m sure that people have all sort of reasons why we shouldn’t talk about household objects being used in sex… but after I had a terrible run-in with a foot roller, I wished that someone had informed me that anything I put in my body needed to have a rounded tip instead of a flat top with hard edges. With a little bit of information to guide me through my sexual exploration, I wouldn’t have hurt myself.
What I think is overlooked and what I was not prepared for is much more about being Married and Poly:: That sex with new partners can become deeply emotional and spiritual. It is critically important for everyone to be willing to support the other person when they have their hearts broken because they break up with a lover. I think its an important part of safe sex because for so many sex is so much more than purely physical and the danger that an emotional meltdown might have on a primary relationship is substantial!!
Otherwise, I have to give a shout out for the lovely people like Elspeth who help the horny fuckers like myself be safe while being promiscuous!! Thanks honey!!