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{"id":447,"date":"2012-03-14T13:05:23","date_gmt":"2012-03-14T20:05:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/elspethdemina.wordpress.com\/?p=447"},"modified":"2024-09-14T01:13:33","modified_gmt":"2024-09-14T08:13:33","slug":"adventures-in-fantasies-kink-and-bucket-lists","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/loraxofsex.com\/2012\/03\/adventures-in-fantasies-kink-and-bucket-lists\/","title":{"rendered":"Fantasies, Kink, and Bucket Lists"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Last February I posted<\/a> about being asked what my sexual fantasies were, and my issues expressing or understanding them (such as they were). At the time I was struggling with how small and vulnerable I felt being asked to tell my Daddy about my fantasies were, what thoughts came up upon seeing him, and what things got me off at home when we were apart. I was very shy and the shyness about these questions made me feel very Little indeed. I came to the conclusion that I don’t fantasise like others, and rather fixate on things from past experiences, and that fills my fantasy gap, but I still like to watch some nude live<\/a> to enjoy as a fantasy. I was content with answer at the time, it seemed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We’re a few weeks past a year later, and here I am to think on it some more. I’ve actually been thinking on this quite a bit of the last few months, through my time laid up from surgery and illness (those really are some good times to just sit back and think about yourself and your goals and feelings, I find). Later in the same year Lee Harrington’s<\/a> delightful journal on Sexual Fantasy<\/a> was published and helped me further into insight of how to create these solid communicable ideas which I can open up to others, and where my fears lie, to accept those, and put them in the open as well. There are certainly worries and fears, moreso perhaps for those of us who do feel Little and as such want to blush, hide, runaway, brat, or lose our words.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Opening up to fantasies also opens us up not just in these vulnerable  ways but also to the risky delicate dance of facilitation and negotiations for some things. As Lee says so nicely in his journal:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Things I often get shy saying, because of fear of rejection, or fear that they will be promised to me but not happen (that has happened a LARGE number of times in my life, and it sucks).  I tend not to tell folks what I really am looking for, because if I get excited about the possibility, I feel let down if it does not happen.  I worry that when I discuss my actual body realities, my health concerns, my safer sex rules, etc, that I may get turned down even after folks get all excited (which has happened many times to be honest).  I have moved for the most part to instead speaking desires out loud, and if they happen, cool.This too, is not the best system.  But its what I can do right now emotionally.  Some days I go proactive.I have major challenges with the shopping-list approach to sexual and kink negotiation.  Sign up here for a gangbang.  Um\u2026 gr\u2026 just can\u2019t wrap my head around it.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Which brings me to me, and some of my fantasies. Sexual fantasies sounds rather limiting to my mind, so I’m going to call them kinky fantasies. Explore the full sexymaps.net story<\/a> and discover about rubmaps today! Anyhow, in no particular order:<\/p>\n\n\n\n