My focus is not the history of menstruation or cultural blood taboos; I’m sure there are many historians and sociologists who know much more than I do. What I’m talking about here is a method that I, and increasingly more and more folks, are using to manage our periods. Namely, I’m talking about menstrual cups.

Menstrual cups are, at their most basic, an internal blood containment system that looks a bit like the mouthpiece of a trombone. A bell-shaped receptacle with a firm rim, a series of small holes just below the rim (referred to as “suction release holes”), and a stem to aid in gripping the cup for removal are bog-standard for a menstrual cup. They’re re-usable, sterilisable (except for The Keeper which can be sanitised but not sterilised), and cost less over time than “traditional” disposable menstrual products like pads, tampons, and sponges.

Early menstrual cups were made from natural latex rubber whereas cups today are made from silicone or TPE. Now I know that TPE is something that you’ll often see on the “bad” materials lists for sex utensils. Bear with me here. First, TPE (Thermoplastic Elastomer) is a fairly generic term that applies to a number of materials. The TPE used for menstrual cups is the same material used for baby-bottle nipples and IV drip systems, and is sterilisable. The EU, which is where the only TPE cups I know of are made and primarily sold, also has a history of being far more stringent in their health and safety requirements for bodily use than the USA.

Most menstrual cups sit inside the vaginal canal encircling the cervix to collect menstrual fluid. A lot of menstrual cup instructions will include Ye Old Vaginal Cross-Section Diagram, much like you’ll see on tampon instructions, which seem to indicate that the cup fits low in the vaginal canal near the vaginal opening. I, and pretty much every cup user I’ve ever spoken to or read the writing of, call bullshit. The average depth of the unaroused vaginal canal is around 3″ and cups vary in length from 1.5″-2.75″. Even if you have a particularly long vaginal canal and a short cup, placing the cup low in the body will often either lead to leakage or an upwards migration towards your cervix. So I don’t know whose vaginas those diagrams are modeled after but: Fuck cup companies and their diagrams. Fuck them right in the ear. I say most because there is one exception, the so-called “softcup” by the company Instead works (or, in my case, fails) differently. We’ll get to that in the cup comparisons.

Using menstrual cups is pretty easy once you get the hang of it. First- fold the cup and push the folded cup into the vaginal canal. This isn’t entirely dissimilar from inserting an applicator-free OB tampon (or, if you’re me, any tampon because they NEVER seat properly and have to be manually adjusted no matter what you do). Once the cup is inside, release your grip on the cup and it should pop open. After the cup opens, double check that it’s positioned around the cervix and open all the way. A lot of cup companies will tell you to rotate the cup to do this, but I’ve rarely been able to accomplish this. What I do is I run my finger, inside of me, around the cup to make sure it isn’t still folded. This also lets me make sure my cervix is in the cup and that I didn’t misfire and place the cup beside it. To remove, reach in and squeeze the cup to break the suction and then carefully pull it out. Dump the gunk, rise (or wipe if you’re in a toilet stall), and re-insert if needed.

While I’ve never had issues with fit, leakage, or expulsion, getting a cup that works properly and fits comfortably is important. One thing that can help with getting a good fit is to know a bit about the placement and moods of your cervix. The first time I felt my cervix, I thought I was intersex ((I was also probably 7 or 8 years old, so I’m kinda impressed with myself. How many elementary school kids know what intersex is?)). I’ve learned a lot since then. You’ll also want to think about the overall design of the cups you’re considering. Most menstrual cup resources will tell you to look at size, stiffness, texture, stem length, stem design, and suction release hole placement. While all of these can factor into your selection, in my experience the important things to pay attention to (unless you’re having issues despite trying a few cups already) are the size, stiffness, and texture. Stem length is something that can be modified at home if need be, and you’ll notice I’ve cut the stems off some of my cups. For me almost all stems are too long or at an angle that stabs the front of my cunt, so I cut them off as soon as I get them. I’ll probably cut the stems off the rest of my cups once this guide is up.

Size and stiffness are the two main things you’ll want to look at. I hate to say it but cups are kinda like buttplugs in that stiffer is often better, especially when starting out. Stiffer cups can be trickier to fold for insertion but they pop open much more readily and tend to create better suction without much, if any, adjustment. Softer cups are also a bit more apt to break their seal if you have particularly strong PC muscles. I tend to stick with smaller cups. If your cervix tends to be low, or you have a shallow unaroused vaginal canal, shorter cups are likely going to be better for you.

Cup sizing is something that I find wholly irritating with almost every brand on the market. You’re often told that one size is for young people and/or people who haven’t given vaginal birth, and the other is for older people/people who have given vaginal birth. Again I say: Fuck this shit. If you have heavier periods and you need more volume in your cup, or you have a long vaginal canal/high cervix, or if you just fucking want a larger cup? Get one. I prefer smaller cups, mostly because larger cups have a tendency to press on my urethral sponge (aka g-spot), making me feel like I have to pee all day. Even a poorly-placed or larger tampon can do this to me, so I know I’m particularly sensitive to this.

Two concerns I’ve heard and seen a lot with cups are whether you can use a cup in conjunction with Nuva Ring and/or an IUD ((I’ve recently seen tell of a lot of folk who are using both in conjunction. I’m not exactly sure how prevalent this is.)). The answer to both is yes! The Nuva Ring should not be a problem with cup use. Nuva Ring is approximately 2″ in diameter, whereas most cups are 1.5-1.75″ in diameter. Attempting to insert a menstrual cup whilst wearing a Nuva Ring can be a bit of a blind game of ring-toss, so it may be easier to insert your cup with the ring removed, then replace the ring. Removing the ring briefly in this manner will not compromise the effectiveness of your pregnancy prevention.

If you recently had your IUD placed it is generally recommended that you wait 2-3 months before using a cup. IUD expulsion rates are relatively low even without menstrual cups in the picture, and most people’s devices settle within the first two cycles. Make sure your strings are trimmed appropriately so that they do not get trapped between the rim of your cup and the walls of the vagina. When removing your cup, make sure to break the suction seal first. IUD users may prefer a lower-suction cup to make this a little easier. As always, check your strings regularly and if you notice any change in your string length contact your physician or gynaecologist.

One last fear common to new cup users is- what if it gets lost/stuck? First off, it can’t get lost. The vaginal canal is a finite distance and the cervical opening is, except during childbirth or when medically induced to dilate, a really tiny opening that your cup could not fit inside if you tried. Just as tampons and kegel exercisers don’t get lost, neither do cups. What can happen is that your cup becomes difficult to remove, due to a number of factors. Have you orgasmed recently? During arousal the vaginal canal balloons and the cervix pulls up and back taking your cup along with it. I forget this ALL THE TIME and the combination of my preferred cups being relatively smooth ((The smoother the cup the harder it is to grip. The stems on cups are designed to combat this, but if you’re like me and cut the stems off this is no longer the case.)), my own natural cunt goo, and the retreat of my cervix means I’ve just gotta wait for things to return to normal.

If your cup becomes difficult to reach for removal try squatting in the bathtub (so you don’t have to worry about cleanup if you spill the contents) and bearing down during removal. Some folks may be able to reach deeper while laying on their back (I’m one of those people). Remember- stay calm. It won’t harm you to leave the cup a little longer and give it another go when you’re more relaxed. TSS is not a concern with cups as it is with tampons ((TSS is caused by bacteria that can be present on tampons due to their porous and non-sterile nature. Cups are non-porous and, if you are maintaining your cups properly, can be sterilised and sanitised between uses.)). I’ve seen people talk about using kitchen spoons, tongs, and bent coat hangers to retrieve a stuck cup. Please do not do this. There is one device that I can recommend for stubborn cup retrieval- The Magic Banana. It’s designed as a kegel exerciser in some weird way, but it fills the same role as the spoons and coat hangers but in a safe manner. Relax, breathe, find a position that allows you to reach further, and press the side or rim of the cup when you can reach it to break the suction.

Now that we’ve covered basics, application, and common concerns, let’s get to the good stuff- comparisons! Onwards to part two of the Epic Menstrual Cup Guide!

A note from Lorax:

Sometimes, when you’re in this line of work, you end up with sex utensils intended for anatomy that you don’t have. So it was with the OxBalls Gym-Boy. It’s languished in a drawer for some time now, occasionally making an appearance at a workshop, but never really seeing much action. I briefly considered putting on my best bedroom eyes and asking Daddy for a hand, but I wasn’t sure if this would fit- him OR me if it did fit him. I definitely needed someone to help. Seriously- we tried this out and using the Gym-Boy without a cock really leaves something to be desired. Conveniently, Evie was coming over to squeeze my cocks and borrow a few. And the rest? Well… read on…

When I first got it i was pretty intrigued. Would it stay on? Would it make my penis more or less usable? Jesus this thing is heavy! The Gym-Boy is a pretty serious looking piece of kit. At almost 9″ long, 6.5″ circumference and weighing over half a pound it looks pretty much like a large(ish) hollow dildo.

Now, a note about penis function as a trans woman. Sometimes… it doesn’t. Estrogen and testosterone blockers can definitely conspire against the possibility of ever getting an erection again for many of us, which often comes as a blessed relief, but for those of us who aren’t totally opposed to using our genitals in accordance with the user manual, an inability to maintain a firm erection can be a bit of a shame. Strap-ons are always a good option in such cases, and my first inclination was to try using the gym-boy with a harness (more about that failure later) as I was concerned it wouldn’t work as advertised when my erection inevitably softened, however I was pleasantly surprised by just how tenacious the things grip is once on.

Speaking of which: GETTING IT ON.

So the Gym-Boy is basically a big old hollow dildo made out of a rubber that feels like a cross between a soft silicone and one of those dreadful jelly toys, don’t worry though, no toxic shit here ((Made out of OxBalls’ Super-Flex TPR, Gym-Boy is phthalate free, skin safe and suitable for use with water, oil, silicone and hybrid lubes. Yay!)). Because the sheath is completely solid at the end to get your penis into it means forcing the air out. This is as hilarious as it is awkward. First you’ll want to get hard and lube up your penis, then lube the inside of the cocksheath, squeeze as much air out as possible and slide it on to your cock. I say “slide” but that’s really not an accurate term. If you managed to squeeze most of the air out it’s going to grab your penis and suck hard in it’s attempts to fill the litteral vacuum that has been created. The sensation is one of an over enthusiastic rubbery blowjob being given by someone who’s only instruction in the art of fellatio was to “suck hard”. It was initially both shocking and slightly painful. It basically felt like a penis pump. I squeezed the thing to let some air back in and the aggressive suction was relieved. This was better, but I was still only half way into the thing. Squeeze a little more air out.

~PARP-squelch-PARRRRRP-TOOT-squeltch~

Seriously, I know they warn you that it will make terrible noises when you put it on, but I was literally rolling around laughing at this point. A few more minutes of the sort of noises young kids get immensely excited over making with their hand and their armpit and I finally had the thing on.

The Gym-Boy has a built in sling for your testicles, after a few minutes of fishing around (estrogen has shrunk mine to the size of raisinettes and sometimes they get lost) I eventually managed to get mine through and held firmly in position. The whole arrangement was really pretty comfortable and felt suitably secure, however I was still uncertain that the whole thing would really stay put in use so I decided to try putting on a harness over top. This was a mistake as there was simply no way to do this without completely crushing my testicles. Bruised and somewhat wiser, I gave up on this approach and took the harness off. If you’re crafty, I imagine it would be perfectly possible to customize a harness to work with the Gym-Boy, but most off the rack models are not going to work.

Now as it happens, during this first test none of my partners were available to help test so I was on my own with no one to stick it in. I’m honestly glad I was because what with all the sound and fury getting the damn thing on entails, I’m pretty sure any mood would have been totally killed. Just to recap, this is NOT a romantic toy. You’ll either need to disappear to another room to put it on, or have a partner for whom the mood is not a thing that can be killed by several minutes of furious farting noises, or, as it would later be dubbed, cock-queefing.

Lacking outside assistance, I decided to get an idea of the sensation range the wearer might expect to get during sex by using it a bit like a Fleshlight. This was pleasant although due to the tightness of fit, the suction, and the totally smooth interior, there was not a lot going on. I should also note that hormones and T-blockers have left me with considerably reduced sensitivity so I wasn’t expecting a whole lot here anyway. The experience did leave me feeling that the Gym-Boy would be a great alternative to a strapon as it remained firmly in place despite of the vicissitudes of my erection.

Now it was at this point when I had an idea. I normally can’t get of through masturbation without the aid of a Hitachi ((now known as the Magic Wand Origional)) , so I figured what the hell, maybe I’d still be able to feel it through the Gym-Boy. HOLY FUCK This may be the best idea I’ve ever had. Turns out the rubber is the perfect medium to carry the vibrations to, well, pretty much everywhere. I think I was coming in about three or four minutes. It was probably the fastest I’ve reached orgasm in the last two years.

Since this first trial I’ve had the opportunity to use the Gym-Boy with three of my partners and it has been a resounding success. It totally stayed on and felt good while I was the one topping, and being fucked in the ass with it was great, and generally much nicer than someone using a strapon or just a dildo on me. Used as intended, I would say this is a great cock sheath (plus it functions as barrier protection which is a bonus ((to a degree- TPR is safe but semi-porous, so be sure to check with the manufacturer about how to disinfect for multi-partner use. OxBalls does not recommend boiling or dishwasher cleaning their TPR. Instead they suggest hand-washing with hot soapy water or a medical cleanser.))) but here’s the thing— you would be INSANE to just use it as intended. Combining a wand-style vibe with the Gym-Boy is, in my opinion, an absolute must. It is simply the best vibe add-on ever made (provided you have a penis handy). Position the head of the wand such that you’re hitting your partners clit (if they have one) AND the shaft of the Gym-Boy and you have possibly the worlds best vibrating sex toy. Seriously, if you have a penis in your life you need these two toys.
No really.
NEEEEEEEED THEM.
It’s that good.

So a couple of notes in summary:  After some experimentation I’ve decided that silicone lubes work better than water based ones for use on the inside of the Gym-Boy. It’s easier and less flatulent getting it on with a good silicone lube. This is not a spontaneous toy, and there is no way to use it in a seductive fashion. There just isn’t. But, if you can get over all the noise, and you have a wall outlet handy with a wand plugged in, everyone involved is very likey to have some wake-the-dog-wake-the-neighbors-wake-the-whole-damn-street kinda sex. Personally, if I’m feeling toppy, this is almost a must have item. It’s ability to stay on and give me a reliably usable cock to work with is just fantastic, and would be reason enough to recommend it over a strap on, but with a wand vibe? It is simply the most fun I’ve had with my penis.

Closing comments from Lorax:

I have a bit of sad news— OxBalls has discontinued the Gym-Boy. BUT! I dug around and it looks like my friends over at Tool Shed Toys still have some in stock! So go get them now. The folk over at OxBalls say that they’re replacing Gym-Boy with a new design, but I have no information as to what that might be yet. I will update with any new information as soon as I receive it. Tool Shed Toys also has a few of Gym-Boy’s stouter, girthier, more textured predecessor, The Dude, in stock.

There are other similar cock sheaths on the market, and I suspect that Vixen’s Ride-On will work similarly to the Gym-Boy in many regards. Ride-On is more realistic in sculpt and smaller overall, which might be a plus for some folk. Ride-On is also 100% silicone, which makes it more expensive, but also fully sterilisable. Vixen also makes the Colossus, for those who really like girth. Colossus won’t carry vibration the same way Gym-Boy does, due to the softer and thinner silicone of the sheath.