Dilators — which are a set of graduated therapeutic tools used to develop/restore vaginal capacity and elasticity and/or to alleviate sexual discomfort — are one of those things that I’ve always been marginally aware of but never really thought much about. I knew that friends who’d had vulvar-vaginal surgeries begrudgingly used them, and I knew that some folks would use the term as a veiled means of saying dildo. I have a feeling that most folks either have never heard of them or have a similar passing knowledge as I.

Most sex shops, if they have purpose specific dilators, have the same purply-pink plastic dilator with interchangeable tops. Some still sell the old-school acrylic wands. Slim silicone dildos like Tantus’ Silk have been around for a while and I’m starting to see more shops carrying silicone dilators of varying sizes. I’ve somehow known of a weird self-lubricating dilator-cone-thing for as long as I can remember. I’ve never seen it in stores and have no idea how it came to be on my radar. But there it is.

Glass seems like such a perfect choice for dilators that I’m really surprised there aren’t more on the market. It’s a material that is already recognisably used in medical and scientific implements, so there’s that bit of clinical confidence. It’s easily cleaned, sanitised, AND sterilised, in the home environment. It is much less likely to look like (or be) a repurposed dildo and, unlike actual repurposed dildos (or dilators made by dildo companies), it has no friction. I’m sorry but silicone seems like one of the absolute worst material choices to me for dilators for the drag alone. That is just not a good feeling when you’re already dealing with chronic pain.

The fact that Crystal Delights made these dilators hollow means using them for stretching exercises is super easy. For the larger sizes I can just slip my finger inside like I’m wearing a little glass finger cot. I can just barely fit my (rather slender) finger into the smaller ones, but even just hooking the tip of a finger gives much more control than the cumbersome thing-on-a-stick style dilators. I also found that, with the help of some silicone stoppers, I can fill them with cold water which is super soothing for me.

I also REALLY appreciate the combination of a shorter length and the gently flanged base. This combination means that, with the application of a snug-fitting pair of underoos, I can have a dilator in place and still DO things. I remember humorous stories from friends post-surgery who contrived all manner of ways to keep their dilator in place without having to hold it in- sitting in the best impersonation of dudespread while precariously wedging the protruding end against a table leg, or donning an oversized Borat-esque garment, which still meant being trapped in one position but at least you could still surf the web.

Look, I’m not thrilled to be in a situation where dilators are a reality for me. I’m really not. Writing about them is hard and awkward and emotionally challenging in a way I totally wasn’t expecting. But dear gd if I can help someone find dilators that aren’t puke-mauve, are easy to work with, and dare I say it- feel good to use, I will. And the Crystal Delights dilators fill that void.

Let me back up a bit here and give you a bit of personal background. While I have known that I enjoy ass-play for some time now, it has been a tricky thing for me for the entirety of that time. I have a history of sexual assault which plagues me with fear of flashbacks and freakouts in the middle of the action. I’ve had more physically painful anal experiences than not (for a number of reasons). I’m prone to perineal tearing from vaginal sex. I have body issues. I have health issues which effect my digestive system. All of these things combine together to make me scared to engage in the type of play that I want, much of the time. I’ve been seeing Daddy for going on three years now, and a recent date marked only the third time that we’ve had anal sex. Not for a lack of desire on either of our parts, really. Mostly I decline.

As a result of my situation, I’ve spent a lot of money over the years searching for the perfect buttplug- something I could wear during vaginal sex, and which could sate my anal appetite without triggering other issues. I have a drawer full of buttplugs now, most of which see very little use. Some have been re-purposed for front vaginal wall stimulation ((As long as a toy can be disinfected, it’s totally fine to have crossover toys. Buttplugs, especially stout silicone ones, make great dildo substitutions for wear inside dildo harnesses)). What relegates a plug to an eternity in toy-drawer purgatory? Two things: how pokey is it to my insides, and how well does the base work for me.

Let’s address the latter first, as it’s really my big buttplug pet peeve. Remember how I mentioned that I’m prone to perineal tearing? Well, I’m convinced that I either have the least elastic perineum on the vaginal side, or that I have an exceptionally short perineum. Given that I want to wear my plug during vaginal sex, I often run into an issue where the bases on toys get in the way. This is particularly annoying with silicone bases as their edges can be a little on the sharp side, and silicone tends to catch and drag against skin. Not comfortable for anyone involved. Sometimes plugs have oblong bases which can be turned sideways so as to not block my cunt, but then they press into my butt-cheeks in a really awkward and pinchy way. Overall, just not an ideal situation. I often hear folk musing that the bases on Crystal Delights plugs look large. I can assure you that they are quite comfortable and that while some Crystal Delights bases can obscure front entry to some degree at certain angles, the small plugs almost never do. On the larger plugs I do have more of the base overlapping beyond my perineum. However, since the glass is smooth and warms with my body heat, things slide over it much more comfortably- especially when lube is involved. My perfect base? Not quite, but pretty darn close. For long-term wear and sleeping while wearing? Definitely the best and most comfortable choice.

Poking my insides. This is the other issue I have with many plugs. A lot of plugs are the right shape but the wrong size, namely they are too long. Others are the right length and shape, but are too curved. The Njoy plugs, as much as I would love to love them anally, just don’t fit my body well. The angle I have to turn the plug to for it to be comfortable means that the base presses up into my vaginal entry in a rather uncomfortable way. Wearing them during sex is right out. Thankfully, I’ve found other uses for them ((These are genius for front vaginal wall stimulation. Just amazing. I forget how I discovered this, but man am I glad that I did!)). Many plugs have a rather pointed tip to ease entry, which is especially important with materials like silicone which tend to have more drag to them, even with lube. The frictionless nature of glass makes the Crystal Delights plugs the absolute easiest plugs to insert that I’ve ever had, and they aren’t pointy at all. I could insert, remove, and re-insert these plugs all day long (oh wait, I have…) and be rather happy (I was).

The really amazing thing with Crystal Delights is, as I mentioned, their plugs are so totally customisable. There are two standard lengths: short which are around 3-3.5″ in length, and long which are around 4-4.5″ in length. Then, there are THREE standard bulb sizes. Most plugs on the site are the small size, which is right around 1-1.25″ in diameter, but they now make medium (1.5″) or large (1.8-2″). Past that you can special-request a more tapered bulb or a more pronounced neck-to-stem differential. You can select what colour of Swarovski crystal or vintage medallion to have embedded in the end. You can even get coloured glass plugs which benefit cancer research, or ones with tails attached!

I have three Crystal Delights plugs so far, and I love them all. My first was one of their standard-issue small plugs with an Aurora Borealis crystal in the end. This is my go-to plug for most plug related needs. It’s small enough that it’s not a challenge, but has enough of a presence to be enjoyable. It makes a great precursor to other anal activities later, and is quite comfortable to sit on provided the chair isn’t too hard. My second is one of their long plugs, which has a magnetic end rather than a crystal, to allow for a fur bunny tail to be added. I’ll give this one it’s very own review soon, but I find this size is more suited to being just a playtime plug, or a walking around the house plug for me. It is very similar to my small plug, but the longer length makes it not ideal for sitting.

My third plug is one of their short plugs with the large bulb, and a Glacier Blue Aqua crystal ((A special request colour, but oh my goodness it’s gorgeous. Photos do not do it justice at all)). Easily a 2″ diameter, when I first used this plug (in preparation for a date no less) I began to worry if this was going to be a case of my eyes being bigger than my ass. It took a few partial insertions to warm my body up, but it went in smoothly and was glorious once there. My biggest challenge with this plug is that it has a rather steep neck-to-bulb ratio on the stem side. My internal sphincter can be a little tetchy with such things, and gave a bit of protest at first, but with a few insertions and removals, and a little extra lube, I was surprised to find that later on the plug slid out comfortably with nary a twinge. I’d probably request a more gentle taper if I get another large plug though, just so that I have some variety.

That aforementioned date by the way? AMAZING. I was scared as could be because planning a date specifically for ass-play had me in a tizzy over what I would do if I couldn’t do it. I didn’t have any problems though, and now all I can think about is when we can do it again, when I can show off my pretty Crystal Delights plugs again, and what to challenge myself with next now that the large plug is comfortable. I am anxious to try more Crystal Delights glass toys, perhaps something with more texture next? Maybe, just maybe, they’ll make something in black (oh look, they did!), or which glows in the dark, or with bats in it? I can dream, can’t I?