The Packer Gear harnesses ((I have the boxer-briefs, but I can’t imagine the standard briefs being dramatically different)) are everything I wanted out of the rodeoH and didn’t get. They’re an awesome alternative to SpareParts Tomboi and in some cases, actually better. Yes- Packer Gear is made by CalEx. I’m as surprised as you are. I still don’t like CalEx as a company but of the “big four” major sex utensil companies they’re far from the worst. I give them some modicum of credit for recognising at least part ((now let’s see if we can get trans women to be included too eh?)) of the transgender community by starting to make packing products which are surprisingly good and affordable.

I have the boxer-brief style which is really a bit more of a trunk cut on me, but I appreciate that. True boxer-briefs can come down a little far on my thighs which can bunch up inside my 501’s (which, let’s be honest- if I’m packing I want that shit to get noticed). Despite being unable to find a size chart anywhere online [UPDATE! SheVibe now has waist size-range measurements available on their site], and the sizing options being XS/S, M/L, or L/XL, they fit fantastically. I got the L/XL and they fit me just right. For reference I wear an XL in my Vagina Dentata American Apparel Hot Shorts, a Large in Jockey Cotton Stretch Low-Rise, and I’m a solid size 16 in Lucky Jeans. I’d say someone a size larger than I am would still be quite comfortable in these, two sizes up might be a little snug depending on where you carry your weight. 95% cotton/5% spandex and a nice wide waistband means these are comfy enough to wear all day, and not just on days when you’re in a pinch because you forgot to do laundry.

There’s a bit of a lovechild of rodeoH and SpareParts Tomboi thing going on with these, and I like it. Inside you’ll find a vertical flap system akin to SpareParts designs. The vibe pockets are a little weird but also smart- there’s a horizontal one on the inside flap near the top (placed above where the base of a cock would be), and there’s a vertical one in the middle of the top flap. I thought this was strange until I realised that this put one bullet squarely on a potential fuckee’s clit and one squarely wedged into fucker’s junk pressing against the base of your cock. It works surprisingly well to add pressure bio-feedback with thrusting on top of vibration. Someone actually thought about this really intelligently! Slightly less well thought out is the placement of the packer-nutsack-securing-strap. This is located on the inside of the innermost flap, which is great for being able to keep your whole packer inside your underpants, but won’t work with STP style packers. In contrast SpareParts’ Tomboi puts this feature directly below the o-ring, which means your cock is dangling outside your underpants when packing- it’s a little odd. Win some you lose some I suppose.

The o-ring on Packer Gear harnesses is firm, firmer still than that on rodeoH. It also looks smaller when I compare them side-by-side. Surprisingly though it held up to and accommodated a much wider variety of sex utensils than rodeoH ever did for me. Headier cocks like Shilo and Woody/Mustang were a little tricky to get back out, but worked just fine. Silk Large, Leo, and Curve all worked beautifully. You’re definitely not going to get Maverick or Randy in here though, which I can wrangle into SpareParts ((with the help of the plastic baggie trick)). The stitching has held up through my game of Will It Fit?, something which rodoeH failed on the first round. The stitching on these all-around is really well done, and even has enough give around the thighs where some underpants get that weird thing where the thread is tighter than the fabric.

So about that “better than SpareParts in some cases” statement. I love my SpareParts harnesses, and I have nearly all their designs (I don’t have Bella, and while I own Sasha it’s been missing for over a year. This is what you get when you lend out sex utensils without making a card-catalogue checkout system first). The problem I have with most versions of Tomboi is that they’re made out of that swimsuit fabric which is really great for the standard harness styles but when worn as underwear and you sit for any period of time? They make you get a bit swampy. The exception to this is that they make a micro-modal version that is REALLY HARD TO FIND but is my favourite of the underpants harnesses. The fact that Packer Gear is 95% cotton means no swamp-crotch no matter how long I wear them or how many vinyl diner booths I sit in, and for me that’s kinda a deal breaker.

I’m really stoked that these exist. Being CalEx also means a higher likelihood of these being available in areas where there aren’t any so-called “progressive” sex shops ((yes, I’m putting that in quotes. I have some Opinions about how progressive places actually are when “gender expression” seems to completely forget about the feminine side of the trans spectrum, where gay male sexuality seems an afterthought, and where men (with the exception of trans men) feel generally unwelcome.)). For those of you who live in the breadbasket states or rural areas that only have big chain sex shops or strip-club annexes, there’s a decent chance you’ll be able to find these there. Given how difficult life as a person with A Case Of The Genders can be, in this case it’s almost a blessing that these are made by one of the big sex corps.

I’ve long struggled to have a good answer to someone who wanted a harness that didn’t trigger their dysphoria, that wasn’t marketed towards “lesbians”, and that wouldn’t break the bank. rodeoH seemed so promising and I know some people love them but I’ve had zero success with them. SpareParts are great but they’re not cheap. Making your own is an option, but not everyone is handy like that.

So now there’s an answer, and that answer is: Packer Gear.

Thanks SheVibe for carrying these and providing me with a pair. 

My issue here lies in the copy and supposed intent of this PVC glitter vibrating dildo. It’s something I’ve seen on things before, but never have I seen it quite so egregiously as on the Cliterrific.

Cliterrific is an 8 inch wonder designed specifically for clitoral stimulation. Turn up the heat with these erotically designed multi-speed soft pliable jelly stimulators with sensuous glitter.

Wait, WHAT? CalEx, where the fuck do you think my clit is located? I know that we’re having to remind people not to learn how to have sex by watching porn, but do we need to update that to not learning anatomy via porn as well? Newsflash: Deep Throat was a porno flick and not based on an actual medical condition. Clitorises (clitori?) aren’t located in our throats, nor are they located within the vaginal canal, as you seem to think based on the design of this stinky dick.

I mean really, clitoral stimulation? It’s a fucking 8″ long, 2.25″ diameter girthy-as-fuck vibrating dildo! I’m almost tempted to use the much loathed term of “dong” to refer to this thing. I understand that people joke about men not being able to find the clit and yada-yada-yada but seriously- a dildo as a clit toy? That’s like all the glass toys I see labeled as “massagers”. For anyone who might not know (and apparently the folks over at CalEx) here is a basic illustration of the female crotchical region. Now, I understand that the clitoris is more than just the little eternal piece of erectile tissue that most people think of when referring to the clit, but I think it becomes pretty clearly apparent that an inserted dildo is not coming anywhere NEAR the clit. Yes- you could use this big stinky faux-phallus on your clit, but there are SO MANY toys, such as those at Secret By Me, that are better suited to that, even at the incredibly cheap price of the Cliterrific.

I’m a talkative person, but from the first day I set eyes on this I have been dumbfounded in it’s stupidity. That’s been nine months now, that I’ve seen this thing and boggled at it. I re-arrange retail walls, and every time I move it I gag a little. I re-read the copy on the back of the packaging and I can feel my blood-pressure go up and the knot form in my stomach. Thankfully, in that same nine months, I have yet to have someone want to purchase it from me. I’m not sure I’d be able to handle that.

If for some ungdly reason you actually WANT one of these, you can get it at SexToyFun. Personally I don’t see why you’d want it though. I do think that the little video they have on the page about it is pretty frickin’ hilarious though. I wish I could embed it over here. Oh man do I ever.

The Berman Venus G is a slim silicone vibrating G-spot toy from Dr. Laura Berman. The first thing I noticed with this is that it is indeed slim, only 1″ in diameter. The tip of the toy, where it curves up to nudge the urethral sponge, tapers a bit as well. Now, I wouldn’t call myself a size queen (toys like Vixen’s Randy scare the crap out of me), but I found the dainty diameter of this toy a bit underwhelming. This is probably perfect for some folk, but I’m finding that I prefer a girthier toy for this sort of play. I had a hard time getting firm yet comfortable pressure, as the narrowness of the tip of the toy felt more pokey- like the tip of a finger rather than finger pads. I was also unable to really feel much of the rings on the shaft of the toy when I used it for thrusting due to the narrowness of the toy.

The vibration doesn’t really do it for me either on this. I find that the vibration from the three AAA batteries to be remarkably low, given that my beloved Laya Spot was a two AAA toy and definitely blows this out of the water with intensity. If you want very gentle vibration then the Berman Venus G is probably great, but especially for internal vibration I need something far stronger. I will say it is amazingly quiet though, which is always a nice treat.

While I generally prefer smaller palm-able toys for clitoral stimulation, I thought that maybe something longer like this might make it ideal for using on myself whilst wearing a harness, or during partnered sex. So I gave it a shot as a clit vibe, and still that low-intensity vibration killed it for me. I need more oomph than this is capable of even at it’s strongest setting. I really wanted to find a way to make myself love the Berman Venus G, but I just wasn’t feeling it- literally.

Despite this toy being made by Cal Exotics, a company who still manufactures a lot of jelly and PVC toys, it successfully passed the ‘is it really silicone?’ test of attempting to light it on fire with a match. It didn’t burn, melt, disfigure, discolor, or retain soot marks after washing so I feel confident saying that this is indeed 100% silicone. The silicone is of the shinier and thus stickier variety, so this is definitely a toy to keep in a plastic baggie or some other protective sleeve, and it does need wiping down before use just to make sure all the cat hair and dust bunnies are gone. The battery case is actually plastic, not metal as I’d assumed it was. The construction is simple but nice, and the controls were really easy to use even when my hands were all slimy with lube. The battery-cap on this though is tricksey indeed and requires screwing it on just-so.

In the end, the Berman Venus G is just not quite what I’m looking for in my G-spot escapades. It might be someone’s perfect toy, but it’s far from mine. Big thanks to Babeland for being awesome (I bought my first sex-toys from them, many years ago) and sending me the Berman Venus G to play with. I can’t wait to further explore their wide array of G-spot vibrators!