Review: NobEssence Romp

AKA sometimes a buttplug is just that good that you’ll ignore common sense just to wear it.

I’ve spent a lot of time putting things in my ass for fun and for science, and so I’d like to think it means something when I say that this is the most comfortable plug my ass has had the pleasure to host. I came home to get ready for date-night and found it waiting on my doorstep. I promptly washed it off, lubed it up, and slid it in as I went about my pre-date routine. By the time I was getting out of the shower, I was hooked. Romp is the most comfortably designed butt plug ever.

Romp is also a bit problematically designed if you intend on wearing your buttplug whilst having front-hole sex, which makes me super sad. I’m always on the hunt for plugs whose bases don’t block access to my cunt, which is a problem I have with nearly every butt-plug design out there. Romp’s asymmetrical base fits so perfectly without blocking access and allows me to sit and even drive comfortably with it in. The incredibly comfortable base which is perfect for folks with super short perineums like me is also incredibly easy to bump during sex, tipping the plug past the threshold and right up into your bum. This is where the ignoring common sense comes in, because I had that very thing happen.

After a bit of “I’ve missed you” date-night greeting fucking, I toddled off to the kitchen to cook dinner. While I was cooking I felt a little weird, but I hadn’t eaten much yet and having just banged up even more of an appetite, I didn’t think much of it. Just as I finished up cooking I reached down to adjust the plug since I knew I was going to go sit down to eat. Except the plug wasn’t there. “oh, we must have taken it out earlier and I didn’t notice” I thought, and went to go look in the bedroom. Nope, not there. Back in the kitchen I look around on the floor. I’m not wearing my hearing-aid so maybe I dropped it and didn’t hear it fall? Nope, not on the flo-OHMYGD. Time momentarily freezes and my eyes become huge. “Dinner’s ready, go ahead and help yourself. I’m going to go to the bathroom real quick” I say, passing through the living room. I get to the bathroom and shut the door. I was right. Our escapade earlier had lodged the whole thing in me. No wonder I’d felt weird! Thankfully, I was able to hook my finger around the base and work it back out without too much trouble. A quick rinse and wipe and… I put it back in place.

Yes, I know. Putting it back was just asking for trouble. It almost happened again too, after dinner. That time I felt it start to tip and was able to do a quick “hold on…” I reached down and yanked it out before it’d lodged all the way inside me again.

“Did that just…?”

“uh, yeah… here, let’s switch to my glass one ok?”

I got an impressed and amused look as I swapped gear. Had this been any other plug, particularly something with a smooth round base, I might have ended up livetweeting a trip to the ER. Lesson learned. Romp is great for pre-date and for use during bondage (it’s great with crotch-lines since the shape lends itself to the lie of the rope), not so much during the banging. At least not for folk with back and front holes.

This was my first wooden plug, or wooden sex utensil in general really, and I’m hooked. I want more. The smooth frictionlessness afforded by glass or steel without the weight or chill. I’ve come to the realisation that anally, I really prefer the harder materials. Yes, laugh it up. But it’s true- the more I play around with various plugs and dildos the more I find that silicone just is a little too grabby, too frictioned, for my ass. I know these materials make people worry. Wood seems scary because people fear splinters. I guess I can kinda see that, but when was the last time you got a splinter from your nice wooden salad bowls or the fronts of your kitchen cabinets? Properly finished and sealed wood is safe y’all. NobEssence has been making wooden sex utensils for a long time now, and they know what they’re doing.

I should have listened to ‘Piph. I seriously love the Romp, and don’t know what took me so long to get it. Even with my awkward ass adventure, I still would recommend it to anyone who likes things in their butt (or thinks they might). It’s a great size and shape for just about anyone, just use a little caution if your ass has aspirations like mine does.

Edited to add: Don’t get me wrong- this is a great plug and I fully endorse it. What it’s not good for is being worn anally during penetrative front-hole sex. The impact of a partner’s body and anatomy against the smaller end of the base ((Romp is worn so that the long side of the base runs against your coccyx, and the little nubbin end faces your perineum.)) is what caused the tipping. Worn during other sex activities, or by someone who doesn’t have a cunt? Totally rad! Perfect for penis-owners! This is a great plug for all-day wear too. Don’t let my butt bungle putt you off this plug. It’s a tale of when to exercise caution for sure, but it’s a unique situation that is usage specific.