Review: Packer Gear Brief Harnesses

The future is now, and it is glorious. A future that involves comfortable, dysphoria-friendly, full-featured, washable, packing-friendly, underpants style strap-on harnesses for under $30. Yes, you read that right. The same price as a month of Crash Pad gets you an awesome pair of undies that you can pack AND fuck with. I love the future.

The Packer Gear harnesses ((I have the boxer-briefs, but I can’t imagine the standard briefs being dramatically different)) are everything I wanted out of the rodeoH and didn’t get. They’re an awesome alternative to SpareParts Tomboi and in some cases, actually better. Yes- Packer Gear is made by CalEx. I’m as surprised as you are. I still don’t like CalEx as a company but of the “big four” major sex utensil companies they’re far from the worst. I give them some modicum of credit for recognising at least part ((now let’s see if we can get trans women to be included too eh?)) of the transgender community by starting to make packing products which are surprisingly good and affordable.

I have the boxer-brief style which is really a bit more of a trunk cut on me, but I appreciate that. True boxer-briefs can come down a little far on my thighs which can bunch up inside my 501’s (which, let’s be honest- if I’m packing I want that shit to get noticed). Despite being unable to find a size chart anywhere online [UPDATE! SheVibe now has waist size-range measurements available on their site], and the sizing options being XS/S, M/L, or L/XL, they fit fantastically. I got the L/XL and they fit me just right. For reference I wear an XL in my Vagina Dentata American Apparel Hot Shorts, a Large in Jockey Cotton Stretch Low-Rise, and I’m a solid size 16 in Lucky Jeans. I’d say someone a size larger than I am would still be quite comfortable in these, two sizes up might be a little snug depending on where you carry your weight. 95% cotton/5% spandex and a nice wide waistband means these are comfy enough to wear all day, and not just on days when you’re in a pinch because you forgot to do laundry.

There’s a bit of a lovechild of rodeoH and SpareParts Tomboi thing going on with these, and I like it. Inside you’ll find a vertical flap system akin to SpareParts designs. The vibe pockets are a little weird but also smart- there’s a horizontal one on the inside flap near the top (placed above where the base of a cock would be), and there’s a vertical one in the middle of the top flap. I thought this was strange until I realised that this put one bullet squarely on a potential fuckee’s clit and one squarely wedged into fucker’s junk pressing against the base of your cock. It works surprisingly well to add pressure bio-feedback with thrusting on top of vibration. Someone actually thought about this really intelligently! Slightly less well thought out is the placement of the packer-nutsack-securing-strap. This is located on the inside of the innermost flap, which is great for being able to keep your whole packer inside your underpants, but won’t work with STP style packers. In contrast SpareParts’ Tomboi puts this feature directly below the o-ring, which means your cock is dangling outside your underpants when packing- it’s a little odd. Win some you lose some I suppose.

The o-ring on Packer Gear harnesses is firm, firmer still than that on rodeoH. It also looks smaller when I compare them side-by-side. Surprisingly though it held up to and accommodated a much wider variety of sex utensils than rodeoH ever did for me. Headier cocks like Shilo and Woody/Mustang were a little tricky to get back out, but worked just fine. Silk Large, Leo, and Curve all worked beautifully. You’re definitely not going to get Maverick or Randy in here though, which I can wrangle into SpareParts ((with the help of the plastic baggie trick)). The stitching has held up through my game of Will It Fit?, something which rodoeH failed on the first round. The stitching on these all-around is really well done, and even has enough give around the thighs where some underpants get that weird thing where the thread is tighter than the fabric.

So about that “better than SpareParts in some cases” statement. I love my SpareParts harnesses, and I have nearly all their designs (I don’t have Bella, and while I own Sasha it’s been missing for over a year. This is what you get when you lend out sex utensils without making a card-catalogue checkout system first). The problem I have with most versions of Tomboi is that they’re made out of that swimsuit fabric which is really great for the standard harness styles but when worn as underwear and you sit for any period of time? They make you get a bit swampy. The exception to this is that they make a micro-modal version that is REALLY HARD TO FIND but is my favourite of the underpants harnesses. The fact that Packer Gear is 95% cotton means no swamp-crotch no matter how long I wear them or how many vinyl diner booths I sit in, and for me that’s kinda a deal breaker.

I’m really stoked that these exist. Being CalEx also means a higher likelihood of these being available in areas where there aren’t any so-called “progressive” sex shops ((yes, I’m putting that in quotes. I have some Opinions about how progressive places actually are when “gender expression” seems to completely forget about the feminine side of the trans spectrum, where gay male sexuality seems an afterthought, and where men (with the exception of trans men) feel generally unwelcome.)). For those of you who live in the breadbasket states or rural areas that only have big chain sex shops or strip-club annexes, there’s a decent chance you’ll be able to find these there. Given how difficult life as a person with A Case Of The Genders can be, in this case it’s almost a blessing that these are made by one of the big sex corps.

I’ve long struggled to have a good answer to someone who wanted a harness that didn’t trigger their dysphoria, that wasn’t marketed towards “lesbians”, and that wouldn’t break the bank. rodeoH seemed so promising and I know some people love them but I’ve had zero success with them. SpareParts are great but they’re not cheap. Making your own is an option, but not everyone is handy like that.

So now there’s an answer, and that answer is: Packer Gear.

Thanks SheVibe for carrying these and providing me with a pair.