The Njoy Eleven is a thing of legend. I think it was one of the first sex-utensils that I put on my wishlist, much like every other sex-writer, -worker, and reviewer on this here planet. It’s the sort of thing you dream about and stare longingly at in display cases while sighing wistfully at the pricetag. Clocking in at eleven inches long (hence the name) and 2¾ pounds of pure stainless steel, there’s no two ways about it- the Njoy Eleven is a glimmering beast.
I’ll admit that this was another of those review requests borne of a challenge- after experiencing an asshook with a large ball I wanted something more fuckable. Something that was girthy and frictionless the whole way down, something that would approximate the sensation of the hook but with more versatility. So I managed to work out a deal to snag one.
This wasn’t my first hands-on visit with an Eleven. In my previous role as a Dildo Ranch Wrangler I regularly showcased the Eleven in all its weighty, mirror-like glory- carefully placing a velvet cushion on the counter and advising “two hands, please”. Everyone ooohed and ahhhed over it, but selling an Eleven was a rare occurrence. It’s intimidating in and of itself, and then there’s the pricetag; ranging from $299 – $310 online, and rarely on sale, this is not a impulse buy by any stretch of the imagination. This was my first opportunity to really get to know the Eleven internally, and boy-howdy am I glad I did.
The first rule of stainless steel sex utensils is: warm them up first, especially if it’s wintertime. It’s easy enough to do with a container of warm water or, if you’re me, wedging it under you while lounging on the couch. I take that back. The real first rule of stainless steel sex utensils is: resign yourself now to fingerprints and smudges. Just make your peace with it now, particularly if you’re the fastidious type. I spent far too long carefully buffing the Eleven and it’s siblings in display cases feeling a bit like Lady Macbeth. So the second rule of stainless steel sex utensils is to warm them up. Yes, you can chill them down too if you really want to (I haven’t and have absolutely zero intention of ever doing so). Do this in the refrigerator or cold water though- NOT IN THE FREEZER. Everyone remember the flagpole scene from A Christmas Story or “the wall” in Muppets Most Wanted? Yeah- don’t do that to your junk. You won’t be happy. Lastly- you’ll want some lube to go with this. Forget the “use lube if you have to” trope most folks trot out. USE LUBE.
Given my dislike of the Pure Wand, and being the anti-size-queen that I am, it’s no surprise that the first response when telling a friend how much I enjoy the Eleven was “Wait, which hole? I thought it was way too big for you!” For a long time, so did I. Even more surprising was that, despite my intentions for the Eleven, I was using it in my cunt. I’ve discovered that pretty much across the board if I don’t like a size/texture in silicone or skin that I need to try it in glass or steel. The lack of friction makes things so much easier, and takes a lot less lube. It’s still tricky to get in, and the larger end is an absolute no-go (sad, because using it that way has built-in grippy bits), but once I can work the small end in? G-ddamn.
Whereas the Stronic shocked me by making me squirt for really the first time ever, Eleven made this happen with scientific precision. This thing causes actual porno-style jets of ejaculate for me to the point that I overshot my Throe THREE TIMES in as many days. Eleven can take me from completely unaroused and not sex-minded to laying in a puddle of my own fluids in less than five minutes. Five glorious and arduous minutes of alternately leveraging and thrusting- which is hard not because of the weight, but because it becomes completely drenched so fast that I can’t hold onto it anymore. I found that putting a couple stretchy cockrings on the “handle” end to make it grippier made it easier to thrust with, though I find myself using a more lever-like motion most of the time. In this case the weight works in my favour, allowing gravity to do a lot of the work as I just move the exterior portion gently up and down.
Sadly I don’t love this anally, at least not by myself. I really wanted to, but as I’ve found with most of Njoy’s anal plugs, that slight point which makes insertion easier? I feel it. They sit in my body in just such a way that accentuates the feeling of that point until suddenly it feels gigantic and stabby. I don’t have this issue with someone else doing the wielding but that’s a whole world of communication that I’m typically incapable of with large objects up my ass. What can I say? Having someone else wield the Eleven is an exercise in trust no matter who you are or what hole you’re using. Go slow, then slow down a little more from there. Accidentally hitting the wrong angle or jabbing a cervix with nearly 3lbs of stainless steel is quite a strong sensation.
I’d like to note that there are knockoffs on the Eleven, so do be aware. If you see a deal on one of these that seems too good to be true? It probably is. While prowling the depths of Amazon is tempting for such a huge purchase, I strongly recommend against it. If ever there was a time to make sure you go through known awesome safety-aware sex shoppes, this is it. I’ve seen knockoffs that tarnished in display cases, that marked permanently from skin oils left on their surfaces, and which had mystery metals lurking below the surface upon further investigation. Njoy works only in 316 Stainless Steel, the same grade as is used for surgical instruments.
Njoy Eleven: it’s big, it’s shiny, it’s heavy, and yes- it’s expensive. But for me? It’s worth it. While I did get mine through special arrangements so that I could review it, I actually WOULD save up to buy one outright now that I know how much I love it. If you know someone who has one, I strongly recommend asking to borrow it first. As someone who has always been in seriously low economic brackets, I feel a bit guilty that my two favourite things to put in my cunt are both top-shelf dildos- but my body likes what it likes. At least the Eleven will last you a lifetime and then some. Plus, it can double as a home-defence tool. I can see the headlines now: “Blogger defends home with dildo”.
Huge thanks to SheVibe for helping me get the dildo of my (literal) dreams. Grab one for yourself from them for $299, which also qualifies you for free shipping!