Jeez how is it Thanksgiving already[1]? Things are ramping up and the crazy hasn’t quite hit yet at work, and so I wanted to take a minute and tell y’all a bit about what it is I do for my day-job. I joke sometimes that I get paid to untangle rope all day and, well, sometimes that’s kinda accurate. My days are spent working for Twisted Monk making and selling bondage rope. Oh and playing with cats.

Twisted Monk Classic HempTwisted Monk is the oldest and most trusted name in bondage rope, and with good reason. Ever watched porn on Kink.com? You’ve seen this rope. Ever seen a performance with, or attended classes by, Midori? You’ve seen this rope. Ever browsed kinky porn on tumblr? You’ve seen this rope.

Hand-dyed, hand-finished using eco-friendly and vegan processes, maintaining all the sweet seductive smell of the natural fibre without any of the harsh chemicals found in mass-produced hardware-store rope. This rope is soft and supple and ready to go when you get it, and like a pair of Monk’s Carhartts it softens and burnishes further as it absorbs your skin oils becoming possibly one of the single most intimate pieces of sex-gear you’ll own.

Most famous for the classic hemp bondage rope, which is what you’ve most likely seen without even realising it. Hand dyed to a gorgeous variety of colours, we finish the ends with a special hand-sewing technique that is guaranteed to last. This is the most versatile rope, and if you’ve only ever been using nylon hardware store rope or cotton sex-shop rope, you’re in for a real treat. This stuff holds knots easily, moves against the skin with just the right amount of friction, and unties easily when you’re done.

Twisted Monk Silk and BambooIf you like luxury, soft, silky materials, or only wear the finest of bespoke fashion you’ll want to check out the hand-spun bamboo and silk ropes. These are the real-deal, no synthetics here! Truly gorgeous- the organic raw silk is plush yet strong, and the bamboo is satiny and feels like a cloud. No, really- that’s the only word I have to describe it. If scarves, neckties and stockings have been your bondage go-to, these are sure to please.

Prefer the classic look while still living in the lap of luxury? You need the Bavarian Blonde. This is fast becoming my all-time favourite rope. Four strand rather than three, it’s buttery smooth to the touch but firm enough to use for strenuous and masochistic ties that I enjoy. With a sweeter scent to the fibre too, it’s just perfection. This feeds a fetish more than any of the others. Sometimes this is referred to as the “single-malt scotch” of rope which I’ll have to take their word for it since scotch tastes like sucking on a flowerpot to me. I like to think more that this is a pair of second-skin tight black leather driving gloves because, well, that’s hot.

If you’re a bit more adventurous, or just really like strong sensations, we even have electro-rope (and I LOVE it). Hand-spun jute (though we can do this with any of our silk or bamboo too) rope that has special fibres worked into it which conduct electricity. No, it won’t turn you into Uncle Fester. Designed to be used with a violet wand or a Neon Wand equipped with a body-contact attachment, the current conducts through the rope creating an amazing sensation. If electrical play is your thing. I didn’t think it would be, but then life happened and proved me oh-so-wrong. Product-testing during development for this was a super fun, if somewhat distracting, part of the workday for a bit there.

We’re not the only folks on the block though, far from it. There are enough excellent rope makers and types of rope out there that I’m working on a full Epic Guide on the matter! What I will say is that so far Twisted Monk makes the best hemp rope I’ve found. I’m not saying that because I work here, I work here because I say that.

If you’re lucky enough to live near Tool Shed Toys or one of the Pleasure Chest locations, you can snag yourself some instant-gratification rope!

  1. On account of the impending holiday, I feel like this post is best read with Alice’s Restaurant playing in the background. Feel free to do so. Or not. []