I get a lot of rather specific search strings that lead folks to my site. Sometimes they’re even in the form of a question. So I’ve decided to go through and periodically answer some of these searches. Y’know, since you asked…

Q: Can my period stain my latex dildo?

A: Yes, latex is porous. Get yourself a silicone dildo.

Q: Will oil based lube damage SilAGel?

A: Who fucking knows, SilAGel isn’t even a real thing[1] and it’s full of phthalates and garbage. Get yourself a silicone dildo and an appropriate lube for the job.

Q: Dual density bendable veiny big head with balls harness ready dildo realistic

A: Depends on what you mean by bendable. VixSkin is pretty realistic, and some models are veiny and heady and have balls. Or you can look at the NYTC options, they have a bendable armature core and removable balls.

Q: My wife bought a Private Silicone Packer, what does this mean?

A: It means she bought a Private Silicone Packer, that’s what. I can’t tell you what deep existential meaning she may or may not place in this purchase. I suggest you learn to communicate with your partner, rather than googling for hidden depths of sex utensil selections.

Cock sauce, not ACTUALLY for use as lube Q: Best lube for [anal fisting/vaginal fisting/silicone dildo]? and also Can I use [olive oil/crisco/coconut oil/lotion/etc.] for fisting/sex/jerking-off?

A: Best lube for the job? Depends on the job. I have a handy guide, which hopefully you found. Can you use random household slippery thing for lube? Well you can but you probably shouldn’t. Yes, I’m aware that coconut oil is the new olive oil is the new margarine is the new black. I have yet to find conclusive medical research about the safety of oil based lube of any kind in the vaginal canal, and so far all the gynaecologists I’ve queried haven’t got solid answers for me either. Just buy some proper lube and be done with it.

Q: How to use the Njoy Pure Wand? and Can men use the Njoy Pure Wand? also Which end of the Njoy Pure Wand for [g-spot/prostate]?

A: I’m not crazy about the Pure Wand but holy tits y’all aren’t looking for a lot of info on that sucker! Read about how Epiphora suggests using it, or watch edu-porn featuring it. Yes, men can use the fucking Pure Wand. Use whichever end you like, there is no “right” way to jerk off folks.

Going through my google hits is pretty fantastic. It’s dominated by queries about the Njoy Pure Wand and the Vixen VixSkin Randy. Recently Randy has taken the lead, appearing in 66 lines of data in my “All Time” search metrics view, with the Pure Wand appearing in 55 lines (though still holding the top 5 search string slots, so there’s that). I’m forever pleased to know that I’m not alone as there have been TWO separate instances of someone finding my site by searching for “ghostbusters sexual fetish“, and wish nothing but the best of luck to the brave soul behind “how to put in a bad dragon sex toy if it is too big”. Gdspeed my friend.

  1. I mean it’s real in that someone named some bullshit but not in a way that it’s an actual type of material or meaningful term in any fucken way []
  • So… I’m pretty horrid at this internet thing sometimes. I read this post when it went up. I loved it, and didn’t comment. Then I saw that I had a click and it took me no less than 45 minutes to figure out where the click came from.

    This is a great post, Lorax. Now, I’m going to go butt chug some coffee or something so my brain can operate semi-reasonably! (Thanks for the linky/mention!)