Yeah, I know- another lube post. But this one couldn’t wait. It just couldn’t. About a year ago I started googling around for glow-in-the-dark lube. Why? Because I’m me, because I have a weird affinity for glow things, and because I have an unabashed Ghostbusters fetish. I stumbled across a then brand-new website for Nature Lovin’ Lubricants. They didn’t have much on their site yet, no retail portal, and not a lot of info. There it was— glow lube. I had to have it. But where to get it?
I tried to contact Nature Lovin’ Lubricants and couldn’t get a response. Then I heard they were up for an “O” Award. Huh. Ok. Still none of my go-to sex stores were carrying it, and still no replies, so I continued to wait. Then one day I stopped into my local Leather shop and we were talking lube and they mentioned they were soon to be carrying the brand. “Will you be getting the glow lube?!” I asked excitedly. They were. A few days later, it was in-stock, and I rushed over and snagged myself a bottle.
First things first— this stuff GLOWS. Seriously. That’s really all I cared about to be honest. This could have been the world’s worst lube ever, and as long as it glowed in the dark as promised I’d be happy. The texture of this stuff is a bit weird when rubbed between your fingers. It’s slippery and slick in a way reminiscent of my beloved Sliquid Sea, but with a strange secondary sensation, kinda like how lemonade is hydrating but also the acidity dries out the inside of your cheeks. It has that weird feeling like the inside of your cheeks gets, if that makes any sense. There’s a word for that I think, but I have no idea what it is right now.
It’s tasteless, but you can definitely feel the grit of the encapsulated phosphorescent pigments between your teeth. This is important to note, as I’d likely not suggest this as an anal lube because of this grit, at least not by itself. Nobody likes butt-grit. Maybe if used AFTER an oil-based lube it’d be ok, since there’d be a bit of a buffer. I do that with sensation lubes a lot of the time, pairing it up with something oil-based, so it might work here too. Vaginally you don’t feel the grit at all though.
Nature Lovin’ lubes have an interesting premise. I need to do more research to see if it’s true but their claim is:
The Nature Lovin’ Lubricant lines contain three key ingredients. First carrageenan, this substance comes from red seaweed and has been shown in studies to prevent the spread of HPV (Human papillomavirus). Second is L-lysine, which is an amino acid that suppresses viral replication and inhibits the herpes simplex virus. Then royal jelly, which is derived from honey bees and is given only to the queen bee. Royal jelly has been used for thousands of years as a cure-all, its use dates all the way back to ancient Egypt. Royal jelly contains vitamins A, C, D, E, B1, B2, B3, B6. and B12. It is also a good source of folic acid and amino acids. These amino acids are essential for growth and repair of our cells and tissues and are thought to be of great importance in helping combat ‘free radicals’ in the body.
Sounds kinda hippy-dippy to me, but if it’s true that’s kinda cool. The carrageenan explains the similarity to Sliquid Sea/Oceanics— so, if these claims are true, I wonder if they’re applicable to that as well? I mean I know that studies do support these claims, but what I don’t know if they hold true in the quantities and dilutions present in lube in-use. Royal Jelly is something that I’ve heard all my crunchy friends go on an on about since oh, the 80’s? Smacks of psychosomatic placebo-effect, but hey– who am I to argue with that? Placebos can do a lot really. Power of positive thinking and all that rot.
Oh and remember how I said this stuff glows? Well that glow sticks around. So if you were like me and immediately upon seeing this thought “Oh man, I should draw on the walls with this!” yes, you could, and it’ll stick around for a while. A week after the photo-shoot that created the awesome image above there are still glowing spots in the sink in my photographer’s apartment. Oops. You’ve been warned.
They just announced a new orange version of this stuff. Orange is probably my least favourite colour, but now I want that one too. It’d be perfect for on the batcock, or for some halloween-y fun on a black dildo. Or just for drawing on the walls with. Oh ideas…
- Yes, I’m one of those people who tastes everything. It’s not an oral fixation, really, it’s just a compulsion. First thing I do when I get a new cock? Put it in my mouth. Seriously. [↩]
- In case you were wondering, yes that is a VixSkin Maverick in the delightfully Slimer/ecto-plasm-y Fluor-a-Green colourway. Because child of the 80’s and GHOSTBUSTERS FETISH. [↩]
- I often joke that I had a bad past-life experience with a traffic-cone [↩]