Okay, so I’ve had the Pure Wand for over a year now. I was fascinated over how shiny it is. I broke a nail trying to catch it as it fell off my coffee table. I used it. And I used it. And I used it again. And I never wrote this review. Why? Well, because I’m scared. Scared that dear blogger friends like Epiphora will revoke my sex toy reviewer card and never speak to me again. Why would they do that? Because I don’t like the Pure Wand.
There. I said it. I don’t like the Pure Wand.
It’s no fault of the Pure Wand though. It’s an amazing toy, and is still one of my most highly recommended toys- for other people. I hate it because it works. I hate it because it does what it is supposed to do so fucking well and it turns out, I don’t like what it does. I don’t know if it’s because I shattered my pubic bone when I was a kid, or if it’s just my general dislike of the traditional intense and direct g-spot methods that are generally recommended. I just know that I hate it, and that hasn’t changed no matter how many times I try to like it.
What the Pure Wand does is impressively provide direct g-spot stimulation. This is a precision instrument guys- designed to get in there, find your g-spot, and give it some very direct stimulation without much else. It’s no wonder that Njoy’s site graphics depict the Pure Wand in a very technical schematic sort of way- regardless of which end you use the pure wand has been engineered for efficiency. The weight, the curve, the frictionless steel, the shape of the bulbs, it is just all around the most well thought out sex toy I’ve ever met. I’m just not the target audience.With something so specialized, you’re bound to have folk like me. Folk who don’t like what this well-researched creation is designed for.
I tried, I honestly did. I have found a few particular instances in which g-spot stimulation does not make me want to either kick my partner in the head or make me angry and uncomfortable to a point of stopping jerking off. There is a certain technique of finger-banging that has been used on me (intentionally or not, I’m not sure) which felt really good and only partway through did I realize “well lookit that- that has gotta be doing some g-spot action and I’m not hating it!” before deciding not to think on it too much lest I ruin the whole situation.
Then there is what I can best call incidental g-spot stimulation. This is something I generally experience when I’m pushing the boundaries on girth in a toy, such as recent attempts with the Vixen Maverick (a story for another day). These are times where thrusting is entirely out of the question, I’m bordering on dildo-hammering territory, and I’ve managed to wedge whatever-it-is into me and I’m just chillin’ with the feeling of fullness. This exerts an all-over pressure on the walls of my vagina, and if I do kegels around the toy I definitely get a gentle indirect pressure to my g-spot area. This I like. Indirect is the key here.
The last method that works for me, and is the only time I’ve found the Pure Wand to be an enjoyable experience, is to do what I call “windshield wiper” motions with it. Positioning the larger bulb just lightly against my g-spot, I swing the opposite end toward one of my legs, and then the other. This gives a gentle, side-to-side, rolling type sensation which actually feels quite nice. Orgasmically nice? Newp. But nice. What is out of the question for me is any form of traditional thrusting or the direct pressure techniques which you most often see used with the Pure Wand.
I want to say again though, that even though I hate the Pure Wand I think it’s an amazing toy and highly recommend it. Love direct g-spot stimulation? This is a great toy for you. Looking for a toy to aid in intense g-spot stimulation for the purpose of ejaculation? Pure Wand, hands down. Looking for a wonderful prostate toy? You guessed it- Pure Wand. Prostate milking? Oh hell yes Pure Wand. Yeah, if you have a prostate and you like having it stimulated, I highly recommend getting a Pure Wand and putting it up your butt. Seriously. All the things I said above about the smooth steel, the curve, the engineering? They apply equally as well to prostate play. Some of my favorite porn scenes have involved Pure Wands in guys rear-ends. I don’t have a prostate, something which makes me sad on a semi-regular basis, but if I did? I’d be assfucking with the Pure Wand for sure.
There were some interesting things I discovered through my experimenting with the Pure Wand though. First was just how cold room temperature is. You don’t think it is, until you go to shove a piece of room-temperature steel into one of your holes. I learned very quickly that a swaddle in a warm towel or a soak in warm water was a must before using the Pure Wand. I also realized just how hot body temperature was. Initially I was going to post a series of short journals on the Pure Wand, chronicling my usage. This was before I realized how much this was not the toy for me. When I had this idea though, the draft of the first journal was entitled “holy shit, my cunt is HOT”. Seriously, my body temperature runs lower than that of most humans, and I was still amazed by just how heated the Pure Wand got inside of me. I’d pull it out and proceed to bop myself in the nose with it, mesmerized by the temperature change. I also found that if you are at all bothered by fingerprints, it’s best to work out a good coping mechanism now before you buy a Pure Wand (or really any Njoy toy). The stainless steel is polished to such an impressive shine that every fingerprint and smudge shows. I’m not normally bothered by fingerprints (as the state of my laptop screen and eye-glasses will attest to), but I found myself obsessing over keeping my Pure Wand nice and shiny and smudge-free.
So there. I did it. I’ve publicly stated my opinion on a toy that has been called a Holy Grail of sex toys. It comes down to this: no one sex toy is perfect for everyone. I knew this, but sometimes you have to experience it to believe it. The Pure Wand was that experience.