A while back–okay, a long while back–Babeland tweeted a picture of some random toys available for review. There was only one of each available, so they asked who wanted to try any of the goodies in the photo. I’d heard some mixed reviews of the Toyfriend toys, and, quite frankly, they look so strange that I simply had to try one. So I called dibs on the Nosy Toyfriend.

Nosy is… well, it’s just a weird little toy. Let’s get the particulars out of the way before I dive into the oddity that is this toy. Toyfriends are all made of a soft velvety silicone. I appreciate this, as anyone who owns many silicone toys can attest to the magical lint and pet-hair attracting abilities of most silicones. Toyfriends are also firm, almost rigid. Their core is plastic (where the batteries go in and such), with just the ends as solid silicone, and that is certainly the firmest non-squooshy silicone I’ve felt to date. They ship with 2-AAA batteries, and the manufacturer says they have 4 hours of use (more on that in a moment). They are controlled by a push-button on the base, which makes the base rounded. Because of the rounded base, the toy cannot stand up by itself, so included in the packaging is a funny little plastic stand. How nice of them?

Nosy ToyfriendOk. First off, just look at Nosy. What. The. Heck? How do I even…? I’m confused. Am I supposed to wedge that inside of me somehow? The little pamphlet that came in the box wasn’t much help either.

“I like to touch, explore and pry, turn me on and you’ll know why.”

No, that’s not creepy…not in the least. Googling around didn’t help me much either, other than to see that I wasn’t the only one befuddled by the odd shape of Nosy. I started playing with it. Trying to wedge it in me was awkward and uncomfortable. It put the button in an odd location, and reached neither my clit nor g-spot, and even though I’m a huge fan of stimulation to my front vaginal walls, this just felt intrusive. Trying Nosy as a clit toy wasn’t much better. The vibrations were dull and muted, and positioning was again very awkward. It was while I was trying to figure out a way to make this toy work for me, that the batteries started to die.

“But wait,” you say, “I thought the manufacturer said that it had a 4 hour battery life!” Yeah, I did say that (or rather, the manufacturer does). So I popped in a pair of brand new AAAs just to be sure–maybe the ones it shipped with were duds? It can happen. Again I tried to see if I could use this toy internally somehow. Again I pressed and wiggled it’s unusual shape against my clit, trying to find a comfortable and enjoyable use for this toy. Again, the batteries started to die. Four hours? I got maybe two hours total, across the two sets of batteries used.

I love the texture on Nosy Toyfriend. Unfortunately I don’t love the dull vibration, and the shape certainly isn’t for me. I’m not entirely sure what to do with this one. Usually I can find some use for a toy, but I’m at a loss this time. All in all, I’m left just as bewildered after giving this toy a go as I was beforehand. I’m glad I got to try it, and I send huge thanks out to the wonderful folks at Babeland for giving me the opportunity.